By Elana Laham © 2013 Elana Laham
THE BULLCRAP BUSTERS
(Inspired by the song entitled
“Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker Junior)
Who you gonna call when you
are being beaten down
by so called society
who is pushing you around?
They tell you to seek the experts
to help you get better.
But all they tell you is Bull Crap
straight to the letter.
Who you gonna call when you
feel like dying or think you are going insane
because so called society
says you are to blame?
It’s how you dress or wear your hair they say.
Or you are a nerd, a freak, a lesbian, or gay.
Or you are poor, ugly, handicapped, or different in some way.
Or they don’t even give you a reason for why
they are bullying you that day.
Who you gonna call when they
insist you forgive what is unforgivable?
No one in the world is on the
That kind of advice
is for the saints who are dead,
or for the two faced, forked tongued,
Bull Crap devil.
Whatever their excuse
to justify the bully’s gladness
to beat up on the victim
to relieve the bully of his madness.
Society must stop sanctioning
the bullying behavior
by treating the victim like a “villain”
and the bully like the “savior”.
Who you gonna call if people
who don’t suffer your fate
are well meaning but
simply can’t relate?
At best they will tell you
to rise above it all.
At worst they will blame you
for why you take a fall.
Unless one travels the victim’s path,
one cannot judge a victim’s aftermath.
We won’t demean you
with act like the weak
who turn the other cheek.
For the only way
the bully can get his self esteem
is by being a coward who
acts cruel and mean.
Who you gonna call
to abolish White segregation?
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who spoke out
for the Blacks of America’s divided nation.
Who you gonna call
to grant women their inspired hope?
Feminists who united together to
win the right to vote.
Who you gonna call
to declare that Gays and Lesbians exist?
The Bi-Sexual Movement
that protested against
the Gender Biased List.
Who you gonna call,
now that it’s up to
victims like YOU
to let the bully know
that with the bullying
you are through?
You have nothing to lose.
You have everything to gain.
For we know what it is like
to be in your pain.
We will tell you the truth.
We will cut to the chase.
No more Bull Crap
for the Human Race.
So who are you going to call?
The Bull Crap Busters!
So who are you going to call?
The Bull Crap Busters!
So who are you going to call?
The Bull Crap Busters!
WE AIN’T AFRAID OF NO BULLY!!!
By Elana Laham © 2013
ANGER – WHAT IT CAN TEACH US
IN ORDER TO DEFEAT YOUR NEMESIS YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHO YOUR ADVERSARY IS. SO LET'S GET EDUCATED!!!
To heal a sickness you have to cure its cause, not merely treat its symptoms. So too with bullying! Bullying is a social disease. Bullying is a plague to society that has become a worldwide epidemic against human civilization. What lies at the root of the social dis-ease of bullying? Society teaches us that ANGER is why bullying has become so prevalent today. Anger is an unpleasant emotion and so it is regarded as bad, ugly, negative, and even evil. One must avoid emoting anger at all costs. But as unpleasant as anger is it is as necessary to emote as it is to perform other nasty but necessary bodily functions such as urination and defecation. We poop and piss in order to eliminate poisonous substances from our physiological system. We generate emotions like anger in order to purge our organism of psychological toxicity. Telling a human being not to get angry is like telling him or her not to visit the toilet. Fine! Don't! But soon enough you will be running to the bathroom to relieve yourself of constipation/diarrhea for foolishly refusing to make nature’s calls. Just like we have to make bowel movements to avoid becoming physically sick, we have to express our anger to avoid becoming mentally ill.
Anger warns us that our organism is in some type of danger. It does this in a twofold fashion. One, it protects WHAT we are by shielding our BODY IMAGE from physical harm. This is done when our brain activates what is known as the fight or flight response. The fight or flight impulse addresses life threatening situations by activating hormones that cope with stress by for example increasing heart rate, blood pressure and metabolism in order to give us additional physical strength and additional physical speed to either confront or escape an impending peril. Two, anger protects WHO we are by shielding our SELF IMAGE from psychological hurt. It does this by alerting our mind to emotional and/or mental distress. Distress is caused by life damaging circumstances such as verbal insults hurled at our ego or destructive mental thought processes that are introduced into our belief system. Although both physical and psychological threats originate from some thing or some being external to us, if we do not release our anger upon that which is causing them, we will internalize these threats as physical wounds and/or emotional scars that never ever heal.
However anger can only assist us in maintaining our physical sound health and sustaining our psychological well being if we choose to release JUSTIFIED anger. Justified anger is our God given natural spontaneous right to defend our selves against those who jeopardize our body image and/or our self-image. Our present day society dishonors justified anger by stifling it. Justified anger is blamed for why there is senseless violence in the world. People have wrongfully adopted an attitude that it does not matter who starts a fight as long as one gets away with it. But it does matter who finishes the fight if one gets caught fighting. In other words, it is not okay to defend oneself for any reason – express justified anger. But it is okay for one to offend others for no reason – express UNJUSTIFIED anger. Unjustified anger is a dysfunctional perversion of justified anger that one learns to do. Unjustified anger is the type of anger that the BULLY manifests.
Unjustified anger undergoes the following malicious vicious cyclonic cycle:
A bully victimizes an innocent individual. This causes the innocent victim to feel justifiably angry. If the victim cannot challenge the bully for whatever reason, he can still let his indignant anger go by having the courage to accept that there are some things in life that he has no control over. But more often than not, the victim is unwilling to confront the bully who brought the victim’s justified anger into being since he is too much of a coward to. Instead the victim pretends that nothing bothers him by hiding behind a veneer of false bravado. What happens next is that the victim’s denial that he is righteously angry causes his justified anger to build up into resentment until it uncontrollably erupts as rage. In order to relieve himself of it, the victim wrongfully vents it all over an innocent individual. In that moment the victim has chosen to express his righteous anger as unrighteous anger and thereby the victim has become the bully.
But to no avail! For the victim turned bully’s anger remains unresolved. Thus, it can only temporarily diffuse itself. And so it resurfaces again and again and again as an unending perpetuated state of obsessive-compulsive rage that repeatedly spews all over any unlucky, undeserving innocent individual who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time – in the victim turned bully’s path. Hence, the cyclone of wrath continues indefinitely, unless or until the victim turned bully returns it to its source – the one who created it – another bully. Then and only then will the victim turned bully’s anger go away of its own accord, naturally.
The unjustifiable anger that the bully displays ought to immediately be put to a halt for it is an abomination – unnatural – as it threatens to make victims out of us all by making innocent people into potential targets for uncalled for hatred. However this is not what happens. This is because our society has been overrun by what I call the “Bully Culture”. The Bully Culture creates social disorder since on the one hand it preaches that its members behave in a “civilized” fashion while on the other hand it condones bullying behavior. So, as long as the bully gets away with being a bully by not appearing to be a bully, the bullying will go on. Hence, as long as we live in a Bully Culture, justified anger will be socially condemned yet at the same token unjustified anger will not only be tolerated it will be exonerated as well.
Being that the bully is a mega wimp not only does he refuse to confront the source of his righteous anger – another bully, but he also re-rationalizes that his wrongful anger has the right to exist by releasing it in a covert versus overt manner. He will do this by disguising his unwarranted hostility as sarcasm – a so called joke also known as making fun of others; a so called compliment also known as putting others down; a so called constructive criticism also known as making a fool out of others; a so called safe public announcement also known as slandering and libeling others, etc, etc, etc. The bully coward will also pummel the daylights out of an innocent who is smaller and weaker than he; or gang up many perpetrators on one lone victim when no one, who might care, is looking or when one, who could care less, is watching. Finally, the bully coward will elicit a myriad of everlasting excuses as to why it is “Okay” to lash his anger out on some innocent so that the innocent one will be blamed for being victimized by bullying. The bully will do any of the above, so that the bully does not get into trouble for being ANGRY.
The trouble with the bully’s perverted way of discharging his anger is that it creates a “lose-lose” situation for us ALL. Such misuse of anger is contagious. It makes the entire populace chronically angry. It endangers humanity for it splinters every member of society into three highly dysfunctional socialization patterns – the bully, the victim, and the bystander – which in their own unique way reinforce BULLYING thereby supporting the existence of the Bully Culture.
There are two types of bully who reinforce BULLYING. There is the bully who suffers and the bully who does not suffer. The bully who suffers I refer to as the “classic” bully. The classic bully belongs to the category of impressionable individuals who generally range from childhood through adolescence. The classic bully chooses to be a bully in order to GAIN social acceptance. Nonetheless, the classic bully feels remorse for victimizing innocent others because he is highly influenced by his own innate knowledge of knowing the difference between right and wrong. Hence, the outcome of his own bullying actions as well as the bullying actions of others, evoke shame, fear, and/or guilt from his own conscience. Since the classic bully craves social approval he is redeemable if significant others are willing to demonstrate functional social behaviors for him. Thusly, it is hopeful that with proper intervention the classic bully will reform.
The bully who does NOT suffer I refer to as the “jaded” bully. The jaded bully occupies the age bracket of the young adult through the elderly. The jaded bully chooses to be a bully in order to MAINTAIN his social status. The jaded bully’s bullying rituals have become chronically adulterated and so his conscience has become subverted. Hence he feels no remorse for victimizing innocent others. Beware, for any apology that a jaded bully offers his victim(s) will be insincere because it is solely motivated by the jaded bully’s regret that he got caught bullying, and his desire to keep getting away with bullying. In general, the older the bully is the less likely he is to redeem himself of his bullying behaviors. Nonetheless, without proper intervention the jaded bully is at risk for becoming some sort of criminal – menace to society.
I do believe that the bully can reform. The following real life scenario illustrates WHY:
When I was a senior in High School, we had a visitor to our Psychology Class. He was what was called a Gestalt therapist. He came to show us how Gestalt therapy worked. The Counselor asked for a volunteer to assist him in demonstrating to us a Gestalt therapy session. Only one student raised his hand and he happened to be the biggest bully in the entire school. His volunteering was in jest though for he made fun of the whole thing. But by the end of the hour, the bully’s false bravado had succumbed to the bully’s uncontrollable sobbing. For what had happened, was that the therapist had gotten to the root of the bully’s bullying behavior, which was that the bully acted like a bully because he hated his father who bullied him.
A new branch of psychology must emerge that will instruct the bully on how to REFORM. In order for the bully to reform the bully must a) acknowledge that he is a bully and b) realize that bullying is an addiction and c) seek counseling that will educate the bully on how to express healthy anger in spite of the unhealthy way in which the Bully Culture demands that people manifest anger. In addition, aside from successful academic graduation of such a counseling program, it is essential that the aspiring counselor undergo an evaluation process to determine whether or not he/she is a bully him/her self. A bully therapist cannot assist a bully patient in overcoming the bully role, unless or until he/she is a reformed bully. He/she will be incapable of detecting bullying behavior in another bully if he/she has not dealt with the characteristics of bullying that reside within his/her self.
There are three kinds of victim who reinforce BULLYING. There is the victim turned bully, the suicidal victim, and the homicidal victim. The victim turned bully, is the victim who is too afraid to confront the bully who brought about the victim’s justified anger, and too scared of being punished by the Bully Culture to return his justified anger back to its source of origin. So his righteous anger morphs into the wrongful expression of being constantly taken out on innocent others.
Victims who are suicide statistics won’t express their justified anger to the bully(s) who brought it into being either. But unlike the victim turned bully, the suicidal victim believes that, “The victim is to blame” for being victimized by bullying, which the Bully Culture perpetuates. And so the victim copes with the devastating unconscionable LIE that he is accountable for the bully’s actions by turning into a self-loathing individual. At this juncture, the victim’s righteous anger mutates into a lethal wrongful ENRAGED manifestation of release. Having an internal locus of control, which means that the victim gets his self-esteem from within himself, the victim will gradually INTERNALIZE the suffering that the bully inflicts upon him by BEATING HIMSELF UP. Hence, his unresolved anger will IMPLODE into a disparaging madness that compels the victim to MURDER HIMSELF.
Victims who are homicide statistics won’t express their justified anger to the bully(s) who brought it into being either. But unlike the suicidal victim, the homicidal victim does not believe in the Bully Culture myth that, “The victim is to blame” for being victimized by bullying. And so the victim copes with the devastating unconscionable LIE that he is accountable for the bully’s actions by turning into an individual who loathes others. At this juncture, the victim’s justified anger mutates into a lethal wrongful OUTRAGED manifestation of release. Having an external locus of control, which means that the victim gets his self-esteem from others, the victim will eventually EXTERNALIZE the suffering that the bully inflicts upon him by BEATING UP OTHERS. Hence, his unresolved anger will EXPLODE into a vehement violent rage that drives the victim to MURDER OTHERS.
A new branch of psychology must emerge that will instruct the victim on how to be LIBERATED from the victim role. In order for the victim to overcome victimization the victim must a) acknowledge what the bully did to the victim and b) realize that bullying is NOT the victim’s fault and c) seek counseling that will educate the victim on how to express healthy anger inspire of the unhealthy way in which society demands that people manifest anger. In addition, aside from successful academic graduation of such a counseling program, it is essential that the aspiring counselor undergo an evaluation process to determine whether or not he/she is a victim him/her self. A victim therapist cannot assist a victim patient in overcoming the victim role, unless or until he/she is a liberated victim. He will be incapable of detecting victim behavior in another victim if he/she has not dealt with the characteristics of victimization that reside within his/her self.
There are two sorts of bystanders who reinforce BULLYING. Being forced to endure such uncalled for violence in a so-called “civilized” world, the bystander too gets angry. But since the Bully Culture has taught the bystander that it is NOT “OKAY” for the victim to express his justified anger, yet it is “OKAY” for the bully to expresses his unjustified anger, the bystander, who is either a bully, and/or victim, him self, is NOT willing to confront the bully with his own justified anger.
Instead, if the bystander is the victim sort, he will stand by but “look away” from the unfolding travesty of bullying that is being imposed upon him. His anger has become unjustified by morphing into IGNORANCE from the root word “to ignore” the bullying. By DOING NOTHING this sort of bystander TOLERATES BULLYING.
If the bystander is the bully sort, he will “look on” the unfolding travesty of bullying that is being imposed upon him. His anger has become unjustified by morphing into INDIFFERENCE, which means he does not care about the victim. Following the bully’s lead the onlooker bystander will deliver punches to the victim’s gut and slam insults below the victim’s belt. And if the victim tries to defend himself, the onlooker bystander will launch counterattacks against the victim with gusto. By JOINING in with the bullying this sort of bystander EXONERATES BULLYING.
The bystander behaves this way because he believes that by ignoring the victim’s suffering and/or being indifferent towards the victim’s suffering he is EXEMPT from being bullied by the bully. But he is mistaken! Since the bystander has made the decision to escalate bullying, by either doing nothing to thwart the bully or by joining in to aid the bully in bullying, the bystander jeopardizes his own IMMUNITY of avoiding becoming a victim of bullying. For although the ignorant and/or indifferent bystander ranks slightly lower than the bully due to less social clout and/or financial leverage, he only ranks slightly higher in social status than the victim at being a slightly better conformed ass (conformist) of the Bully Culture.
Ironically, the bystander, by taking the stance that, “As long as the bully is not bothering me, I don’t care about the victim” seals his fate of becoming a victim of bullying. For the very fact that the bystander lives on planet earth involves him in the bully-victim conflict. And this is why – Our home planet is a ROUND globe that only has a diameter of about 8,000 miles, and so what goes around comes back around and rather swiftly. That means that if the bystander insists on being a part of the bully problem instead of being part of the bully solution today, then the bystander will be forced to deal with the bully who is victimizing the bystander’s children, tomorrow. For with the bully epidemic reaching worldwide proportions the time is sooner than later when the bully’s ever increasing population’s demand will exceed the supply of victims currently available. Then guess whom the bully will cite as his next bully target? The ones who are left – the bystanders, that’s who!
Although the bystander will claim, “I’ll never let a bully, bully me!” If that were so, there woulda, shoulda, coulda be NO bully epidemic! The only difference between the bully, the victim, and the bystander is that the bully HIDES his feelings about being victimized by bullying, the victim is HONEST about his feelings about being victimized by bullying, and the bystander goes into DENIAL that he has any feelings about being victimized by bullying. Being that the bully is such a mega wimp, if only a small percentage of the entire human population of bystanders – woulda, shoulda, coulda stand up to the bully, the bullying will STOP!!!
A new branch of psychology must emerge that will instruct the bystander on how to BE PART OF THE SOLUTION INSTEAD OF PART OF THE PROBLEM of bullying. In order for the bystander to cope with bullying the bystander must a) acknowledge his ignorance and/or indifference towards the victim’s plight and b) realize that bullying makes victims out of ALL of US and c) seek counseling that will educate the bystander on how to express healthy anger in spite of the unhealthy way in which society demands that people manifest anger. In addition, aside from successful academic graduation of such a counseling program, it is essential that the aspiring counselor undergo an evaluation process to determine whether or not he/she is a bystander him/her self. A bystander therapist cannot assist a bystander patient in overcoming the bystander role, unless or until he/she becomes a self-actualized individual. He/she will be incapable of detecting bystander behavior in another bystander if he/she has not dealt with the characteristics of being the bystander that reside within his/her self.
The BullCrap Busters Website was created to help liberate the victim from the victim role, aid in bully reform, and assist the bystander in making a better choice in order to STOP BULLYING.
Anger is a force to be reckoned with. Hence, it has to have an outlet. It cannot be repressed, suppressed, or oppressed. If it is pressed it will change into whichever form it can find release in no matter the consequences. By punishing the victim personality by forbidding the expression of justified anger; and by rewarding the bully personality by permitting the expression of unjustified anger, ANGER has morphed into a maelstrom of senseless violence and hatred also known as bullying. Bullying is choking the life force out of humanity by splintering the members of society into three self annihilating social roles – the bully – the one who is addicted to bullying; the victim – the one who is at risk for becoming a suicide or homicide statistic in order to escape bullying; and the bystander – the one who tolerates even exonerates bullying and thereby becomes a mediocre underachieving conformed ass (conformist) to the status quo.
With the death toll of our children rising on a daily basis as a result of bullying, one ought to conclude that society will eradicate the bully epidemic from within society’s midst for the sake of our children who are the continuance of the human race. But alas! This is not so. If bullying is NOT RECTIFIED it will demolish human civilization.
THE LICK BUTT KICK BUTT SYNDROME
So the “zillion dollar” question is, “Why do we let BULLYING continue? Why is the victim just expected to “take it”, the bully just expected to “give it”, and the bystander just expected to either “watch” if he has the stomach for it, or “look the other way” if she is faint of heart?
The bully gets away with being a bully by executing what I call the “Lick Butt-Kick Butt Syndrome”. There are three components to the lick butt-kick butt syndrome.
The first component of the lick butt kick butt syndrome has to do with the bully acting like a KICK BUTT. Because society also known as the Bully Culture condemns justified anger, NO ONE – not another bully, bystander, or victim – will protest the bully’s uncalled for hostility. Having free rein, the unprovoked bully physically harms and psychologically hurts others the instant the bully gets unjustifiably angry, which is always, since the bully refuses to deal with his justified anger. And even though the Bully Culture condones unjustified anger, unjustified anger may only be expressed if it is manifested in a covert versus overt manner.
The second component of the lick butt kick butt syndrome has to do with the BULLY’S TARGET. Because the bully is addicted to anger, the bully is desperately seeking someone, anyone, to exploit as a human punching bag in order to relieve himself of his pent up misguided rage. Hence, we have the bully’s target – an innocent individual that has nothing whatsoever to do with the bully’s contempt.
Many have claimed to know WHO gets to be the lucky winner of the prestigious prize as the bully’s target. There are those who swear that it has to do with gender orientation and so it is the female population with the gay and lesbian community following a close second who get bullied the most. Others assert that it has to do with brains over brawns and so it is the nerds and freaks that get the blue ribbon. Still others insist that it at has to do with social class and so it is the disenfranchised group of the ugly, the poor and the handicapped who win the victor’s cup. But, all of these “woulda, shoulda, coulda” be experts” on bullying are mistaken!
The main criterion for being a bully’s target is how CONVENIENT it is. The bully is an addict who is addicted to bullying. He is a Desperado, searching for relief from the discomfort that his own unresolved anger is inflicting upon him. The bully is also a mega wimp, who is too petrified to return his own unresolved anger back to its source of origin. Thus, the bully is looking for a scapegoat and A.S.A.P. - as soon as possible. I have heard about bullies who kill animals just “for the sport of it", and I have seen bullies who attack inanimate objects such as doors by slamming the crap out of them. Hence, as far as people targets go, the bully will victimize those individuals who happen to be in the bully’s vicinity.
Society having been infiltrated by the Bully Culture also determines the bully’s choice of a target. It dictates that in order to be a bully the bully must not get caught bullying others. Thusly, the aspiring bully is not permitted to blatantly advertise his/her bullying behavior(s). For if the bully is no longer considered a “good” guy but instead gets labeled a “bad” gal the bully’s reputation as a “civilized” member of humanity will be tarnished and society will have no choice but to punish the bully in order to keep social order. This is why the bully victimizes those who can’t or won't fight back. Such victims have less social clout and/or financial leverage than the bully, or no social status at all, and so no one cares what happens to them, which allows the bully to go on bullying. This is also why the bully punishes those who do fight back. Their protests and resistance against bullying expose the bully for who he really is – a bully. Such threatens the bully’s so called sterling reputation as a “civilized” person, which sabotages the bully’s opportunity to go on bullying.
Due to the fact that it is the bully’s own PAIN and the bully’s own befallen SOCIAL STATURE that STOP the bully from bullying, in order to go on being a bully, the bully must BLAME an innocent victim for being a bully target.
One of the ways the bully gets away with blaming the bully target for being a victim of bullying is by convincing others to BELIEVE that the victim is DIFFERENT in some way and therefore has NO SOCIAL STATUS. To better understand how this social dynamic works let us observe the animal kingdom. The following is an example of what I mean: If a Gazelle happens to be born an Albino (all white in color) since it does not have the regular markings of its species it will be shunned by the rest of the herd. But there is a sound reason for this. At one time it was highly advantageous for a Gazelle to be an Albino. That was when it lived in cold climates that were covered in snow most of the year round. Hence, the Gazelle’s all white color camouflaged it thereby making it difficult for predators to find it. However, over time the Gazelle migrated to warmer climates, and so it adapted the kind of markings that it currently has in order to blend into its habitat thereby making it difficult to be hunted down by a predator. Since the Albino Gazelle can no longer blend into its surroundings it has become easy prey for any predator. Thusly, the Albino Gazelle is now a liability to the overall survival of the herd. Hence, the rest of the Gazelles reject the Albino Gazelle by rendering it an outcast in order to protect the herd by preventing the Albino Gazelle from mating with other Gazelles and passing along its now disadvantageous gene.
Unlike animals, when people decide to have a “herd” mentality, and behave as “one of the pack” their judgment falls below that of the animal kingdom. We become as blind, deaf, and dumb beasts. I am not sure why this is so but I suspect it is because, since the human being can be smarter than an animal, he can also be dumber than an animal. What this means is that for NO reason at all, we will choose to discriminate against those individuals who are a little bit different than mainstream society. The bully knows this and so he sets out to influence the group to regard the one as, somehow different than the rest, in order to dehumanize him/her thereby relegating the victim to subhuman social status. And so even though the one’s being different is NO THREAT to any member of the human species, the bully now has an EXCUSE to pick that person apart without anyone trying to stop the bully.
But there is a price to pay for allowing the bully to make a CONVENIENT bully target out of people based upon DIFFERENCES that do NOT cause injury to others. By letting the bully decide what the criterion is for being “different”, the status quo gets defined and redefined by the bully’s subjective fickle whim and therefore becomes forever changing. Hence, the social standards for “fitting in” become progressively inflexible. And so what is considered “normal” – socially acceptable today is regarded as “abnormal” – socially unacceptable tomorrow. This is precisely why bullying has escalated into a bully epidemic in our current society. As a for instance, my family was too poor to have any of my physical flaws corrected and so sometimes I was a victim of bullying. Because I wore glasses, had crooked teeth, broke out in acne, and was additionally blessed with two deformed feet, occasionally, some of my male peers whistled at me and called me a “dog”, or “four eyes” or “bucked teeth”, or told me I wore “clodhopper” shoes. And that was that. Nonetheless, although the level of affluence has risen within the all American family, giving parents the monetary means by which to financially alleviate the physical anomalies that their children possess, today’s youth are relentlessly bullied just for having any one of the physical defects that I had.
This means that the “odd person out” by this 21st Century has become Joe Quo anybody and/or Jane Doe anyone. Tag, you are it! And so it has become the norm for instance within modern day American society that the patron who stands up for his consumer rights, and the worker who stands up for his union rights is regarded as different and so gets bullied by the business bully; and the tax paying law abiding citizen who stands up for his civil rights is regarded as different and so gets bullied by the police officer enforcer bully; and the patient who stands up for his medical rights is regarded as different and so gets bullied by the doctor authority bully; and the tenant who stands up for his housing rights is regarded as different and so gets bullied by the corporate elite landlord bully; and the list goes on and on and on...ad infinitum. This is the case, even though our American ancestors sacrificed so much so that we woulda, shoulda, coulda, have our inalienable rights.
Our future prediction based upon our past track record is that the BULLY TARGET will just keep expanding until we ALL become VICTIMS of bullying. That being the most likely outcome, why then do we let the BULLYING continue?
This brings us to the third component of the lick butt kick butt syndrome. It explains why a code of silence befalls an entire group of onlookers instead of transforming them into Good Samaritans who blow the whistle on the bully. It explains why so many people are unwilling to befriend the victim but willing to be part of the bully’s circle. It explains why the bully is allowed to torment an innocent victim to the point of no return yet NO one does a THING to STOP the bullying. It explains why the bully eventually amasses so much power within the Bully Culture that he/she drives out from every sector of society the “good” people by replacing them with the “bad” people thereby causing civilization, which was once upon a time established upon a moral and ethical foundation, to collapse to its own demise due to the rot of its own corruption. It involves the bully being a certified LICK BUTT.
Although the bully is nothing more and nothing less than an anti-social psycho-path he gets glorified as the trendsetter of society because he has the gift of the Roman god of Janis also known as “the two faced” hypocrite. In the bat of an eye lash the bully will switch from being a KICK BUTT intimidator, to those who have inferior social stature below him/her, to a LICK BUTT manipulator, to those who hold superior social status above him/her. Such makes it difficult to expose the bully for what he really is – a bully. For his brown nosing to the ones in power ensures his/her immunity. Through his/her seductive charm of syrupy sweetness of “I will do anything for you” put on attitude, the bully allies himself with the one(s) in charge. So even if the victim or the bystander were to complain about the bully’s bullying behavior, the one(s) in charge will find it UNBELIEVABLE that the bully is capable of “such things”. This is why the victim does not stand up to the bully and why the bystander takes sides with the bully. The one(s) in power may or may not be bully(s) themselves. But the bully knows that if he can get and stay in good graces with those who possess the most social influence and economic affluence, than he, the bully, will eventually be running the show.
Sadly to say, the lick butt part of the bully syndrome fuels the bully’s desire to kick the victim’s butt in even more. For in order to get in and remain on the bosses’ good side the bully will even grovel if necessary. The humiliation the bully makes himself endure he then passes onto the victim. In conclusion, while the bully butt kicks those whom he perceives to be his inferiors at the same token he butt licks those whom he perceives to be his superiors. And this my friends is how the bully starts out as a wannabe elitist bully on the bottom of society’s totem pole and ends up as an elitist bully facilitator and perpetuator of the BULLY CULTURE.
Now if it just so happens that no one person is in power, the bully will move in to fill the position by redirecting his/her LICK BUTT behaviors towards the bystander in order to rally supporters to his cause. The bully will do this by ganging up upon some innocent victim by using gossip to gain social clout and/or financial leverage. This way, the bully can triangulate otherwise neutral others to join in with him to beat up on the lone innocent victim, either with their silent compliance or their active participation. Hence, the lick butt strategy of the Gossip Monger bully will be utilized to unify a cohesive group of bystanders against one vulnerable individual whom they did not even witness doing anything amiss and whom they may not even know, so that the bully can relegate himself as the leader of the pack. But the bully is no wolf. In wolverine society it is mandatory that there be an alpha wolf (leader of the wolf pack) and an omega wolf (follower of the wolf pack). But the omega wolf just like the alpha wolf plays an important role in ensuring the overall survival of the wolf pack. For the omega wolf acts like the designated target for the other wolves to aggressively attack so that for instance they can perfect their hunting skills. However the human bully’s designation of a bully target has no beneficial purpose to either the bully or the bully’s group. For neither does it cure the bully of his anger affliction nor does it prevent the bully’s followers from escaping the bully’s meaningless violence.
So exactly how does the Gossip Monger bully recruit the bystander to wage war against an innocent victim? He does so by convincing the listener (the bystander) of the libel and/or slander that it is really the speaker (the bully) of the libel and/or slander not the bully target (the victim) who is the victim of the libel and/or slander.
The following are some of the ways in which the bully enlists the bystander to do the bully’s dirty work:
The bully wrote the rulebook on gossip mongering. Hence, the bully knows that “The best defense is a good offense”. So Rule #1: the bully must attack an unsuspecting innocent individual. Rule #2: the bully has to be the first one to strike out with the tongue lashing so that the bully will be the only one to be believed. Rule #3: in order for the bully to compose his/her lies into a believable story, he has to say things that are plausible to appeal to the bystander’s rational logic. Rule #4: in order to get the bystander’s attention the bully has to generate highly exaggerated so called secrets and/or fictional “awe” and “oo” oral and/or written derogatory reports about the bully target to appeal to the bystander’s irrational imagination. Rule #5: in order to get the bystander to go along with the gossip the bully must have more social status than the victim. For instance, an innocent law abiding citizen is accused of being guilty of a crime without any evidence ever having to be produced that such is the case. After all the enforcer bully police officer never lies, right? Rule #6: after the bully gets a substantial amount of followers he can rely upon his power in numbers to further his victory over his bully target. For example, every one says the victim is a wicked person and the bully is a good person so it must be true. After all everybody says so, right?
You might be wondering why woulda, shoulda, coulda, anyone or anybody listen to what a bully has to say?! Well, it is too bad for humanity that there are so many people in this world that, whether they are on the end of the lying tongue of the speaker, or the deceived ear of the listener, they all tend to have one thing in common – they are all mean, stupid, selfish, lazy, arrogant, lying FLUNKIES who mind other peoples’ business because they don’t have any business of their own worth minding. As Admiral Hyman Rickover once said, “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people”. The common denominator of the participants of trash talk is that they have rendered their own existence unbearably boringly null and void, and so they prefer to damage someone else’s reputable reputation rather then cultivate an admirable reputation of their own. As far as the bully’s goes, his damaging lies are a diversion geared towards ruining an innocent victim’s reputation by labeling the victim a LOSER so that the bully can fabricate a sterling reputation about him self that he is a WINNER. But did you know that the bully’s motto is, “Fake it until you make it”? Adolph Hitler was such a bully. Droves of people believed in him since he fabricated a reputation about himself that he was a leader. But did you know that everything Adolph Hitler attempted to do in his life was a failure? In the end, even his attempt at world domination was such an utter failure that he killed himself.
The bully’s LICK BUTT-KICK BUTT SYNDROME is his ticket to get into the highest positions of power within society. It all begins with the playground bully influencing youth to turn into a violent mob that pulverizes the daylights out of one innocent child; continues on with society’s bully breeding the dysfunctional family unit living in crime invested neighborhoods; continues on with the enforcer bully engaging in police misconduct and brutality; continues on with the clergy bully manifesting false religions of worship; continues on with the business bully transforming humanitarian social institutions into corrupt business practices and finally we have the elite bully who establishes pseudo democratic governments until its outsourcing and globalization campaigns topple the entire social structure of any and every given empire. And it does not end there. Continuing his rampage upon humanity, after the bully “spoils the nest and moves on west” by ravaging mother earth, he plans to blast off to planet girth since NO ONE is willing to stop the LICK BUTT – KICK BUTT.
Unless and until people come to their senses and decide that they will no longer participate in bullying, the bully epidemic will continue to flourish. The bully will attack the home, engulf whole communities, spread across the country, expand throughout the known world, and unavoidably swallow up human civilization like a black hole until it collapses in upon it self by spreading its world dis-order, the Bully Culture, to enslave ALL of US including the BULLY. Someone once asked Nathan Shcharansky, “How many political prisoners are there in the Soviet Union?” Nathan Shcharansky answered, “Two hundred forty million.” This was the entire population of the Soviet Union at the time that this interview took place. The interviewer then asked him, “Does this mean that Leonid Brezhnev is also a political prisoner of the Soviet Union?” Nathan Shcharnasky answered, “Definitely.” At the time of this interview Leonid Brezhnev was the chairman of the Communist Party, and therefore the leader of the Soviet Union. The rulers of a tyrannical system are also the political prisoners of their own tyrannical system. For the forces they set up to enslave the masses enslave them as well.
THE GOSSIP MONGER
Nasty ears listen to me.
They question and probe my agony.
They remain so silent it is hard to tell
if every word has been put under a spell.
They all stand patiently by my side.
Surrounding my presence they swallow my pride.
They never grow impatient while they stand near.
They only grow long while straining to hear.
And when their mouths grow wide to speak,
they make ugly every word that my soul did leak.
So…so long to the self engrossed weaver,
weaving a yarn for the listening leaver.
Goodbye to the strong and certain lie
of the indelicate tongue so eager to fly.
Good riddance to the teeth of your meddling black hole,
that bit down so deeply just to damage my soul.
By Elana Laham © 2013
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR A BULLY BEING BORN?
Instead of implementing the solution to the bullying problem, the Bully Culture attempts to trick us ALL into NOT DEALING with BULLYING by making a DIVERSION. It plays a BLAME game. The Bully Culture will LIE to the public that bullying is NOT the reason why there is VIOLENCE in our society. It will do this by pointing its infamous finger at a slew of irrelevant lame excuses.
One excuse the Bully Culture wags its infamous finger at as to why bullying is not the reason why there is violence in our society is that the victim is to blame for being bullied by being an “enabler”. An enabler is one who supports the dysfunctional behavior of another by denying that it exists or compensating for it in some way. [See Webster’s New World College Dictionary fourth edition page 467]. Take Domestic Violence for example. A wife is either physically beaten up or emotionally battered on a regular basis by her husband. So called society also known as the Bully Culture labels her an “enabler” by accusing her of empowering her spouse to harm and/or hurt her since she refuses to leave him. However, we are all ALWAYS the doers of our OWN actions. Thusly, no one can empower a bully to be a bully, or not to be a bully, but the bully himself. Even if one were to hold a gun to the bully’s head and order the bully to injure another without provocation it is ALWAYS the bully’s CHOICE whether or not to do so, no one else’s. Victims are not people who ask for trouble. Victims do not enjoy experiencing pain. If that were so, then they woulda, shoulda, coulda NOT be victims! So then why does the victim stay in a neglectful/abusive relationship? The victim does so because the Bully Culture has brainwashed all of US, including the victim, to believe that, “The victim is to blame” for being a victim of bullying. Hence, the victim stays in the damaging relationship because he/she believes that it is up to him/her to make the relationship with the bully work.
Another excuse the Bully Culture extends its infamous finger at as to why bullying is not the reason why there is violence in our society is no gun control. But, as far as WEAPONRY goes if an individual wishes to get violent and guns are outlawed he can make a pipe bomb. And if no pipe bomb is feasible he can start a fire. And if no fire is available he can use a knife. And if no knife is forthcoming, he can hurl a stone. And if no rock is around, he can pummel the target with his fists, and so on and so forth. If a human being desires to attack some thing or some being then so be it! He will find a way to do so.
Still another excuse the Bully Culture outstretches its infamous finger at as to why bullying is not the reason why there is violence in our society is VIOLENCE in the MEDIA. One example is the video games that our children play. Well, as far as violence in the media goes, since the beginning of recorded history humans have engaged in violence as a sport – form of entertainment. The Romans had their Coliseum Gladiators. Some wielded tridents and fishnets to combat their opponents with. England had its Jousting Knights on horseback that wore heavy armor and threw lances to defeat their rivals, and so on and so forth. Not only did the people of bygone eras not have to have a license to use weapons, each warrior was capable of forging his own weapon of choice. Did that mean that those civilizations were riddled with violence? Absolutely not! To the contrary! Many of them bred heroes and heroines who helped slaves revolt against their masters and surfs rebel against their tax lords.
Yet another excuse the Bully Culture pokes its infamous finger at as to why bullying is not the reason why there is violence in our society is the usage of DRUGS. For instance, while it is a well-known fact that the consumption of alcohol alters a person’s state of mind by making him lose control over his inhibitions, it does not necessarily follow that the alcoholic will become violent. I have witnessed drunkards attack objects, animals, or people with their mouths/hands/feet after they have had a significant amount to drink. Nevertheless, I have also witnessed those who have swallowed the booze until they have entered into an alcoholic stupor only to babble on and on and on about some philosophical concept. Also, did you know that American Indians took Peyote, which is a hallucinogen, otherwise known as Mescaline? It was used to conduct peaceful religious rituals and vision quests for rites of passage before the indigenous natives were sequestered onto reservations. The point that I am making here is that weapons, drugs, and sports in and of themselves are nothing more and nothing less than NEUTRAL vessels. Hence, it solely depends upon the INCLINATION of their user as to whether or not they will be manifested as vehicles of violence. After all, a pitchfork can either be used to lift hay or to pierce a person’s flesh.
Okay, how about SIGNIFICANT OTHERS? Do the important people in our lives cause us to live in a bully society? You are getting warmer. But nope! Authority figures such as parents, teachers, siblings, peers, etc., can be catalysts for the makings of a bully by role modeling bullying. For example, “Like father like son”. The father is a bully. The father displays bullying behaviors. The son mimics the father’s bully acts. The son enacts bullying and the father rewards him for doing so. The son identifies with being a bully. However, such is not the reason why the son grows up to be a bully. First of all, as a result of being exposed to bully breeding, the son may turn into a bully, but he may also turn into a victim or a bystander or all of the above, or none of the above. Second of all, though a child may be raised to be a bully, at some point in time the child realizes that his own FREEDOM OF CHOICE determines whether or not he will continue to be a bully.
Currently, the elite bully is pointing its infamous finger at MENTAL ILLNESS as the excuse why bullying is not the reason why there is violence in our society. It is doing this by claiming that violent people are lunatics. As a for instance, infamous shooters who have gone on suicidal/homicidal killing sprees such as Eric Harris and Dylan Klebald of Columbine, Cho Seuing Hui of Virginia Tech, James Holmes of the Aurora Cinema Theater, and Adam Lanz of Sandy Hook are being profiled as being crazy. In a general sense all murderers are out of their minds. But there is a difference between having gone TEMPORARILY out of their minds and being PERMANENTLY out of their minds. People who are permanently out of their heads, otherwise known as mentally deranged individuals, are not capable of committing murder for the simple reason that such an action requires careful pre-planning and focused execution.
People who have gone permanently insane suffer from a mind that experiences PSYCHOSIS. People who are psychotic don’t know the difference between reality and fantasy and therefore do not have the HIGHER ORDER THINKING SKILLS necessarily to engage in premeditative actions such as shooting rampages that result in massacres. I had a close friend once who was psychotic. She was psychologically clinically diagnosed as being schizophrenic. She was never ever known to intentionally attack anyone let alone to kill anybody. But due to her delusional mental state she nearly committed suicide but only by ACCIDENT. She jumped out of a two story building, once, because she thought she could fly since she believed that she was Jesus Christ. Luckily all she broke were the two femur bones in her thighs.
People who have gone temporarily insane suffer from a mind that experiences NEUROSIS. Such people do know the difference between fantasy and reality and therefore have the wherewithal to get involved in tangible actions that harm or hurt themselves and/or others. They are driven by rage. Victims of bullying are individuals who have become so enraged since they don’t know what to do about the bullying that they purposefully commit suicide, or they become so outraged because they don’t know what to do about the bullying that they intentionally commit homicide.
The POWERS THAT BE are offering the INSANITY PLEA as the reason why there is violence in our society. This is so that the elite bully can conjure up the lie that all shooters who go on killing sprees are mentally ill. That way the Bully Culture can deprive you of the truth, which is that the root of violence in our society is BULLYING.
Okay, then who is responsible for a bully being born? A bully is given birth to the moment that the bully realizes that his/her bullying behavior pays off. Otherwise, the bully woulda, shoulda, coulda be stillborn. Hence, in every instant that each and every ONE of us – whether or not we are a bully, a victim, a bystander, all of the above, or none of the above – exercises our FREE WILL to let the bully get away with being a bully, we become the ONE to blame for why a bully has been born. It is as simple as that, my friend!