VANQUISHING YOUR INNER BULLY
STEP RIGHT UP AND GET YOUR TICKETS
FOR THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH
By Elana Laham © 2018 Elana Laham
Some people call it their inner critical voice. I call it one’s Inner Bully. And it is not just our significant others early on in our life, such as our parents, who construct this negative mental program into our minds. We also live in so-called society, which I refer to as the Bully Culture. The Bully Culture perpetuates and reinforces this inner bully bad programming throughout our lives, which our caretakers and/or caregivers gave us when we were young. This is in order that the bully leaders of human civilization can dominate the rest of us. The Bully Culture is set up so that for there to be a winner there has to be a loser in society. So there you go for why most of us regular common folk have already lost our innately endowed self-esteem. Unless and until we accept that our own inner bully is a by-product of the Bully Culture mechanism that we are all made to live in, we do not stand a chance at eradicating its virus from our mental computer known as our God-given Divinely inspired brain.
The chatty catty voice echoing inside of your head, or the uncomfortable silent emotion churning inside of your heart, or the urge to do voluntary or involuntary destructive actions to yourself or others works relentlessly 24/7/365 to keep you spellbound by its incantations of, “You are helpless, hopeless, and worthless”.
THE INNER BULLY’S GOAL IS TO FOREVER IMPRISON YOU IN THE VICTIM ROLE.
So how do you counteract your inner bully’s actions against you?
The following are some general remedies that you can use:
Remind yourself that you are NOT the only one in the whole wide world that is a victim of bullying. Otherwise, outer bully(s) woulda, shoulda, coulda not be so skilled at bullying as they woulda, shoulda, coulda not be getting any practice at it.
Use the media to find out about other peoples’ grievances about being bullied. Doing so will let you know you are NOT alone. I recommend clicking on the Internet as opposed to turning on the Television. The Internet has complaints made by regular people like you and me. TV tends to have concerns aired by the pretty people who we cannot relate to and who don’t relate to us.
Challenge the BULL CRAP that your Inner Bully is harassing you with by confronting your Inner Bully’s NEGATIVE NEGATIONS with POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.
Keep a journal that documents entries about all of the instances in which you have encountered bullying and fought back against being victimized by bullying. It will get your mind to focus on your successes, which will offset you Inner Bully’s constant reminder about your so-called failures. In addition, doing so will help you improve on how you deal with bully(s) in the future by portraying how bully(s) have dealt with you in the past.
An Inner Bully plagues many people. I reiterate, you can thank the Bully Culture for this. Most of us have a mental sick program in our head, which spews forth various non-verbal scripts in order to make us believe we are useless. Being that we are all individuals we all have different negative SCRIPTS playing in our brain. What we have to do is learn what they are. Then, neutralize them with the TRUTH. After that, we will be able to oust the Inner Bully from our midst. Finally, we will recover our DIGNITY.
The best way I can teach you how to overcome your own Inner Bully is to show you how I am learning to overcome mine by sharing with you my real life experiences involving my own struggle with my own Inner Bully.
One of the negative negations my Inner Bully thrusts upon my psyche to assure me that I am a pathetic pitiful loser is:
“YOU ARE A WIMP”.
Do you have an inner bully that does this?
If so, do the following:
Once I took an international flight from Tel Aviv Ben Gurion Airport to John F. Kennedy on Delta Airlines. An Israeli stewardess deliberately spilled water all over my lap. For three hours of the twelve-hour flight my thighs and crouch were damp. My inner bully kept chiding me about it saying, “You are a wimp! You woulda, shoulda, coulda taken your own bottle of water and spilled it all over her feet while she was pouring water onto your lap. Then you woulda, shoulda, coulda claimed it was an accident due to the shock of the cold water she was dumping onto your lap”.
Due to today’s double standards that, “the employee is always right and the customer is always wrong”, my inner bully’s advice woulda, shoulda, coulda not ever work. As a result for her, since she works for Delta, it will be regarded as an accident but for me, because I am a patron of Delta, it will be considered deliberate. That being said I will get into trouble, not her.
One day, when I was reading about complaints against Delta, I stumbled upon one complaint that quoted what federal law states about retaliating against a flight attendant.
The following is what it states:
“Section 46504 of Title 49, United States Code (formerly section 1472(j) of Title 49 Appendix) sets forth the offense of interference with a flight crew member or flight attendant within the special aircraft jurisdiction of the United States, which is defined in 49 U.S.C. § 46501(2). The statute applies to any "individual on an aircraft in the special aircraft jurisdiction of the United States who, by assaulting or intimidating a flight crew member or flight attendant of the aircraft, interferes with the performance of the duties of the member or attendant or lessens the ability of the member or attendant to perform those duties." The statute provides for up to 20 years imprisonment...”
[See the web page entitled, "Credit Disputes: Updates 7/16/15" of the BullCrap Busters website for more details about the Delta Airlines water incident and the hyperlink for the United States Federal Law about flight crew].
Imagine it! Twenty years in prison if I listened to my Inner Bully!! There I woulda, shoulda, coulda be incarcerated while hearing the thoughts of my Inner Bully scolding me with, “You asinine ignoramus!!! Why did you pour water all over that stewardess???”
In spite of what Federal law states, the general practice regarding people who retaliate against a flight attendant is that they get thrown off the plane. So how do I know I will be imprisoned for twenty years just for pouring water on a stewardess who bully coward style poured water on me while the entire cabin full of passengers were asleep and she made it look like an accident?
Due to the police violence that was already being enacted against us, we were forced to leave our own country! As a result, we were risking our lives returning to America from Israel in order to retrieve our money, which was in our bank account in an American bank. So, not only will I be escorted off the flight, but also Flight Security will detain me and in so doing the Police will be alerted that I did something they can use as an excuse to incarcerate me for twenty years, which is as long as the Federal Law allows. After all, for years the Police were already attempting to imprison me via covert Police Violence by way of trumped up charges.
[See the web page entitled, "Covert Police Violence Updates 3/8/16" of the BullCrap Busters website for more details] and [See the web page entitled, “Physical Bullying” of the BullCrap Busters website in the section called, “Police Violence” in the segment called, “The Jason Bourne/Americas Must Wanted Hunt" for more details].
In spite of the grossly unfair double standards that the employee can commit assault on a customer and get away with it, but if the customer strikes back at the employee then the customer will get into loads of trouble, my inner bully continued to chide me that the stewardess “gladly” got away with bullying me.
The following are the five things I confronted my inner bully with the fact that the stewardess “sadly” did not get away with bullying me.
In the middle of the flight I requested water for my spouse. That was when the stewardess, who I had accidentally gotten in the way of when I was on my way to the bathroom while she was carrying a tray into the aisle, intentionally poured water all over my lap. She was angry for to her I had gotten in her way on purpose. Never mind that I politely had said to her, “Excuse me”. It was an, “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time” incident.
While she intentionally was pouring water all over my lap, she was staring into my face with an expression that she was hoping I will retaliate, so she can escalate the altercation by reporting me to airline security, so I can get thrown off the plane, so she can gloat at my losing thousands of dollars on airfare, getting arrested and being incarcerated, as if I am some sort of criminal.
I did not asked her why she poured water into my lap for her answer will be to just deny that she did it deliberately. It was an accident of course. And she will be happy knowing that her victimizing me with her bullying bothered me and she got away with it.
1) I mocked her by not playing her bully coward game. All I did was say, “Oh that’s cold”. I upset her so much that all she was able to do was walk away.
2) I mocked her for being stupid. When she blamed my spouse for why she poured water all over my lap, I blamed her by telling her she is a stewardess so she ought to know how to pour water. I upset her so much for calling her stupid that she admitted she was guilty of intentionally pouring water all over my lap by telling me that her training to be a stewardess taught her to learn how to avoid spilling water onto passengers by bringing the cup to her self to pour the water (instead of pouring the water into my spouse’s cup).
3) I mocked her for being a bully. “Is sorry not a word in your Israeli vocabulary?” I said to her. I upset her so much for calling her a bully that she made a token apology to me.
4) I mocked her for being a coward. I dared her to pour more water all over me in front of her co-workers. I upset her so much for calling her a coward that she seriously pretended that she was going to, but she did not.
5) I mocked her for not damaging me. “Its just water.” I told her. I upset her so much for making fun of her for not injuring me that she was speechless.
My inner bully continued to chide me that the bully coward stewardess was happy that she bullied me for after the water incident, when the rest of the cabin of sleeping people awoke and she went to serve them the last meal before the flight was over, she was happy.
I confronted my inner bully with the fact that, other then my accidently getting in her way and her deliberate water incident, the last meal was the only instance in which she came into the cabin and attended to the passengers. So acting happy was what she routinely did. It had nothing to do with her bullying or not bullying me. In addition, one of the ways a bully coward will try to hide the hurt or harm you volley back to him is by overcompensating – trying too hard to hide his pain. To hide her hurt at my insulting remarks to her she over compensated by acting phony happy in front of the public.
My inner bully continued to chide me that it was my fault the bully coward flight attendant did not get into any trouble for bullying me because I did not report her to the head stewardess. The bully coward flight attendant had an angry expression on her face when she saw me approaching the other female stewardess. I was going to inquire of her how long it was going to be until the next meal. But before I was able to, the bully coward flight attendant accosted the other stewardess and motioned her into a private room and talked to her there about me. My inner bully insisted that she did this in order to warn the other stewardess not to inform the head stewardess about the water incident.
I confronted my inner bully with the fact that the bully coward flight attendant did not know that I had already complained to the other stewardess about her but the other stewardess’s reply was to defend the bully coward flight attendant by insisting that the water incident was just an accident. So the only reason why the bully coward flight attendant was talking about me was since she was doing damage control in order to preserve her reputation amongst her co-workers in the event that the bully coward flight attendant, being the angry person that she is, got into a fight with another employee.
I rarely fly so I did not know I can register a compliant with the head stewardess. However, it was best that I did not for the chances were 99.9% that the head stewardess will just defend her wayward employee by telling me she is the most wonderful stewardess their airline has ever had and by insisting that the water incident was just an accident. Never mind whatever logical argument I can make to the contrary. How do I know this? When I reported the bully coward flight attendant to Delta Airlines they did not a thing about her wanton behavior. All they did was refuse to give me the gift they promised me for the bad flight experience I had with them.
My inner bully continued to chide me that I ought to have reported the bully coward stewardess to the head stewardess on the benefit if the doubt that she will be an individual and do something about the bully coward stewardess although Delta Airlines did nothing about the bully coward stewardess.
I confronted my inner bully with the fact that it was best that I did not since the chances were 99.9% that the head stewardess will just defend her wayward employee by telling me she is the most wonderful stewardess their airline has ever had and by insisting that the water incident was just an accident. Never mind whatever logical argument I can make to the contrary. How do I know this? Because if the head stewardess was doing her job in the first place then in the second place the bully coward flight attendant will not dare to victimize an innocent passenger with her bullying knowing that if she did then her job will be in jeopardy.
Now for you spiritualists my inner bully continued to chide me that, “Why didn’t God protect you from this bully coward stewardess water incident?”
I confronted my inner bully with the fact that it may have been karma. Perhaps, I had done something wrong to this bully coward stewardess in a previous life. So God permitted her to do this water incident to me. If that is the case then I have paid my debt. Since this may be the reason, my inner bully cannot chide me anymore about it because my inner bully does not know anymore than I do whether or not this is the reason.
All of the above has forever neutralized my Inner Bully’s claim that I am a wimp.
Another negative negation my Inner Bully thrusts upon my psyche is:
"YOU ARE A WIMP BECAUSE YOU LIMIT YOUR CONTACT WITH THE WORLD TO AVOID ITS TOXICITY. OTHER PEOPLE ARE BRAVE SINCE THEY DO NOT STAY AWAY FROM THE WORLD."
The following is the positive affirmation I used against my Inner Bully:
“OTHER PEOPLE COPE WITH THE TOXICITY BY BEING BULLY COWARDS. YOU CALL THAT BRAVE?! WHEN I HAVE TO GO INTO THE OUTSIDE WORLD I ALWAYS FIGHT BACK AGAINST THE BULLYING. I NEVER HURT OR HARM INNOCENT PEOPLE. OTHERWISE, I DO THE SENSIBLE THING. I PREVENT THE SENSELESS TOXICITY, WHICH IS UNDULY STRESSFUL BY STAYING INSIDE MY HOME.”
The following is the positive affirmation I developed against my inner bully:
“I AM BEING STRATEGIC NOT COWARDLY.”
It has forever neutralized my Inner Bully’s claim that I am a wimp.
There are three kinds of Inner Bully(s).
They are the Inner Bully Coward of the MIND, the Inner Bully coward of the HEART, and the Inner Bully coward of the BODY.
The Inner Bully Coward of one’s mind attacks your self-esteem as RELENTLESS noisy detrimental thoughts about yourself that convince you to think you are bad by giving you so-called reasons. This Inner Bully is deeply embedded in one’s psyche. It is housed in the conscious sector of the brain.
The Inner Bully Coward of the heart attacks your self-esteem as INSIDIOUS silently damaging feelings about yourself that persuade you to feel bad about yourself without giving you any reasons. This Inner Bully is more deeply entrenched in one’s psyche. It is housed in the sub- conscious section of the brain.
The Inner Bully Coward of the body attacks your self-esteem as a SPONTANEOUS impulsive action against yourself that influences you to do bad things to yourself for no reason. This Inner Bully is most deeply rooted in one’s psyche. It is housed in the unconscious segment of the brain.
In order to deal with all three types of Inner Bully(s) one must -
STEP ONE become AWARE of their existence within oneself by realizing that anything and everything destructive that we do to ourselves originates from this three-headed monstrosity of bullying.
STEP TWO is to know your enemy by deciphering which one of the three sorts of Inner Bully(s) afflicts you.
STEP THREE means one has to illuminate the ignoramus of the three- faced Inner Bully by KNOWING how it OPERATES.
STEP FOUR involves discovering how to DISRUPT the Inner Bully(s) operation.
Though the workings of the Inner Bully may be complex as all three of its facets can and do overlap us, the Inner Bully is easily dealt with by using your own LIFE EXPERIENCES to identify which one of its three devilish aspects basically possesses you.
Understand that we are NOT our Inner Bully. We were NOT born with an Inner Bully.
Comprehend that we INHERITED our Inner Bully from a significant other.
Know that we can ELIMINATE our Inner Bully with patience and determination.
My significant other was my mother dearest. Interesting, for my mother never fought back against any bully, but always victimized me with her bullying. She manifested her temper without provocation by screaming at me and cursing obscenities at me. To make things more difficult she was both physiologically and psychologically stone deaf. This meant that, after venting her unwarranted venom all over me, she literally and figuratively turned her deaf ears to me rendering me MUTE.
So it is the speechless Inner Bully of the HEART that possesses me.
When I embarked upon my journey of becoming “victim-no-more” initially all was “quiet” within me...until my Inner Bully eventually got “noisy”.
My Inner Bully constantly berates me for the way in which I fight back against outer bully(s) by bestowing negatively charged emotions upon my being after I have battled the outer bully. The next thing I know I am eating junk food. Never mind that I won the fight.
I have recently identified my Inner Bully’s mode of operation.
Once I sift thru its destructive feelings and render it a voice, I am able to hear the damaging message that my Inner Bully is communicating to me about myself.
The best way I can teach you how to overcome your own Inner Bully is to show you how I am learning to overcome mine by sharing with you my real life experiences involving my own struggle with my own Inner Bully.
The following is its negative negation resounding as an eternal echo from my mother dearest:
YOU HAVE NO IMPACT against the outer bully(s) who bully you unless you YELL at them and CURSE at them.
However, fighting back against bullying with screaming and cussing is problematic.
1) Although you hurt the bully, it gives the bully satisfaction (a consolation prize) that he hurt you, which will be displayed by a smile at your pain in public, or laughter at your pain in private, or a smug attitude of hidden pleasure at your pain.
2) The bully can play the victim. You are hurting him so you must be the bully. Now he can get you into trouble with other bully cowards also known as so-called Good Samaritans who are authority figures such as so-called bystanders, security guards or the police. Never mind that you are defending yourself against the bully’s offensive actions.
3) It damages your body by draining your energy.
4) It damages your well being by being undignified. You are not a beast. The bully is. You are a humane being, an innocent decent person. Remain the nice, smart, and brave one. Make the bully even more upset at you with envy by having to say about you, “I hate you Clark Kent because you are nice!”
5) It puts you at risk for becoming out of control with rage and committing behavior you may regret such as a crime of some sort.
There are two ways to fight back against the bully:
1) IGNORE the bully. The bully hates not being taken seriously, which happens when you do not pay attention to the bully, and the bully will not be able to make you the bully and he the victim, which upsets the bully for it makes him have to admit to himself that he is the bully.
2) Give the bully his OWN MEDICINE. Make the bully know his own pain by exposing the bully for being a bully, which upsets the bully for it makes him have to admit to himself that he is the bully.
The following real life scenario called, “Gone Postal” illustrates how I vanquish my own Inner Bully by the way in which I have chosen to conquer the outer bully:
On October 11, 2017, I went to the Lev Karmiel Post Office located in the Lev Karmiel shopping center on the corner of S’derot Nise’i Yisrael and Morad Hagay streets. E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org. Website: http://www.israelpost.co.il.
I told the clerk, whose name was, NATALIE, that I was there to pick up four packages and I gave her the Israel Post Delivery Notice that was in my post office box.
Natalie brought the four parcels to the counter. As usual, I told her I had to see the packages before signing the Israel Post Delivery Notice to make sure the tracking numbers corresponded to the packages. She pushed the four parcels under the window towards me.
After I finished checking the four packages, I began to return them to Natalie in order for her to have me sign for each package. I put one of the parcels in my hand and started to hand it back to her. Instead of taking it back she shoved my own package back at me while it was still in my hand.
Then, she started yelling at me in Hebrew. My Hebrew is limited so I did not know what she was saying, and she does not speak English. So I told her in Hebrew, "I do not understand what you are saying. I do not know a lot of Hebrew.” She may as well have been talking to a deaf person. She stopped yelling at me in Hebrew and had no reply.
Natalie gave me my four packages that I had signed for. But I did not report her aggressive contact with me to the manager, whose name is Matka, because I believed he was not there that day since I did not see him at any of the counter windows.
However, I was not going to be victimized by her bullying.
So, I returned to Natalie's counter window. A female customer was standing there. So I waited my turn. When the female customer was finished and had left the counter window with her back turned away from us, I told Natalie in my limited Hebrew that, "It is forbidden to do this to people!" And I calmly shoved one of my packages against her shoulder. Suddenly, she grabbed my parcel and tried to take it away from me even though I had already signed for it. But I was able to hang onto it without any difficulty.
Then, she started yelling at me in Hebrew. My Hebrew is limited so I did not know what she was saying, and she does not speak English. So I told her in Hebrew, "I do not understand what you are saying. I do not know a lot of Hebrew.” So she may as well have been talking to a deaf person. She stopped yelling at me in Hebrew and had no reply.
Now the female customer who had left the counter window with her back turned away from us, upon hearing Natalie yell at me in Hebrew turned back around, faced me, and started yelling at me in Hebrew. She had heard me explain to Natalie in Hebrew that it is forbidden to make hostile contact with patrons. Yet, she did nothing and she said nothing. She did not see earlier what had happened between Natalie and myself, either, which was that I did not start the fight, Natalie did.
But I was not going to be victimized by her bullying.
After she yelled at me I calmly and sarcastically said to her in Hebrew, “HaRasha Shomeret HaRasha”, which in English means, “The wicked protecting the wicked.”
Her first reaction was to no longer face me. Instead, she stood at Natalie's counter window with her back towards me. Only her head was turned to the right in my direction. But without looking at me she said in a low voice, “Lalala”.
I was facing her and I calmly mocked her reply by saying in a high voice, "Lalala" back at her. And again, I repeated to her in Hebrew, “HaRasha Shomeret HaRasha”, which in English means, “The wicked protecting the wicked.”
Her second reaction was to no longer face me with either her body or her head. Instead, she stood at Natalie's counter window with her back towards me and said nothing.
Now Natalie was smiling about all the trouble she was making. But I wiped her smile right off her face when I said in Hebrew to her, "Kol Tov", which in English means, "All is well by me." After all, I gave both the so-called Good Samaritan and Natalie tback heir own medicine.
After I communicated to Natalie as best as I was able to that it is forbidden to shove packages at people she called the manager. He was there all along. When he came out to my surprise he listened to me first. As best as I was able to I communicated to Manager, Matka, that Natalie had shoved my own package at me. After I finished what I was saying Natalie started yelling in Hebrew right in front of her manager. I did not know what she was saying and she was making a fool out of herself right in front of her boss. So I left.
On October 15, 2017, I went back to the Lev Post Office to attend to some unfinished postal business. I noticed that “Gone Postal” clerk Natalie had a deflated defeated expression on her face.
I had more postal business to attend to. Matka the Manager of the Lev Post Office was nice to me. He smiled at me. He said "Hello" and "Bye" to me. And conducted himself in his usual professional manner towards me. I said "Hello" and "Bye" back and I left.
Initially, I did not know why the female stranger was behaving in a hostile and nasty manner towards me.
Until I realized that the female stranger was not interested in being a good Samaritan or minding her own business. All she was interested in being was a bad “Slam-Error-A-Ton” by joining in with Natalie to victimize me with bullying being that she, herself, is a bully.
The female stranger was HIDING her pain of being bullied by other bully(s) by being a bully towards me, an innocent person.
And I got away with getting the female stranger bully into trouble with herself and all by myself without any assistance from any one since I remained calm and choose to use sarcasm and mockery versus yelling and cursing at her by exposing her with the truth that she is a wicked person.
Initially, I did not know why Natalie was behaving in a hostile and nasty manner towards me.
Until I realized that so many moons ago Natalie had started a fight with me because she believed that I was using the wrong word to say, “photo” in Hebrew. I finished the fight by bringing her a web page from the Internet dictionary that showed her that I had used the right word to say, “photo” in Hebrew. Natalie said she was “sorry”.
[See the section called, “Scenario #2” in the web page entitled, “Updates 8/10/17” in the BullCrap Busters website for more details.]
But Natalie was HIDING the pain of a foreigner knowing her native tongue of Hebrew better than her by giving me a fake apology and holding a grudge against me…forever.
For to this very day, Natalie, the troublemaker, continues to display her unjustified anger towards me, the trouble breaker, by refusing to put my Israel Post delivery notices into my Post Office box. But, it does not matter, as I have the tracking numbers for my parcels and I retrieve my packages from Manager Matka.
And I got away with getting Natalie the bully into trouble with herself and all by myself without any assistance from any one since I remained calm and choose to use sarcasm and mockery versus yelling and cursing at Natalie the bully who is so “hyper diaper” sensitive to her own pain that the she invites upon herself that Natalie the bully will never forget and always remember the pain I inflicted upon her for bullying me.
[Reader's Note: The Bully will do three things to his/her unsuspecting Victims, a) Gang up on them in front of their face and/or b) Gossip about them behind their back, and/or c) Humiliate them in public. The Bully is not willing to hate you all by the bully’s lonesome self. The Bully must recruit others to also hate you, which is the reason why a Bully is also a Coward.]
The main way my Inner Bully got me to believe in its negative negation that I have no impact on the outer bully was by exploiting the outer bully’s tactic of HIDING the PAIN I inflicted upon the outer bully when I have to defend myself against the outer bully’s offensive actions towards me, and by exploiting the Bully Culture’s tactic of making us all live in a world in which the outer bully gets into NO TROUBLE for bullying others.
So the following is the positive affirmation I developed for my Inner Bully:
“I HAVE IMPACT UPON THE BULLY BECAUSE THE BULLY HIDES THE PAIN I INFLICT UPON THE BULLY AND SINCE I CAN GET THE BULLY INTO TROUBLE, TOO.
It has forever neutralized my Inner Bully’s claim that I have no affect or effect upon the outer bully.
There is a Bully Culture myth that claims that, “WE ARE OUR OWN WORST ENEMY”. It asserts this is so because we all have an Inner Bully. This myth blames the victim for being a victim of bullying since it claims that we were born with an unnatural dark side to us. The truth is that as newborns we were as natural and innocent and pure as sunlight. The Inner Bully is the negative mental conditioning that the Bully Culture passes onto us from generation to generation in order to maintain its control over the human populace. And it is the outer bully(s) who perpetuate the existence of the Bully Culture who reinforce the existence of our Inner Bully. As long as there is an Inner Bully there will be a Bully Culture to keep us in a headlock and/or a chokehold also known as mind control. For it is our mind – our mental programming also known as our belief system – that rules us and determines if we will spend our lives being free enlightened content constructive individuals or enslaved ignorant miserable destructive people.
The hardest thing you will ever attempt to do in your life is to vanquish your Inner Bully.
The following are the reasons why:
A) By the time you realized that you have an Inner Bully, the Inner Bully will have already taken its place infiltrating your entire mind – forebrain, midbrain, and hindbrain.
B) You may not even be aware that you have an Inner Bully.
C) On a daily basis you are going to be blasted with mental messages from the Bully Culture that insist that it is YOU who is the cause of all your pain so that you will not challenge your Inner Bully.
Being that a battle against your Inner Bully is at epic proportion why fight back?
Because defeating your Inner Bully is DOABLE and since you deserve to be what God meant you to be, which is your ONE-OF-A-KIND GENIUS in this universe.
Everything has a weakness. So does the Inner Bully. As with any and every outer bully coward the Inner Bully is not very IMAGINATIVE. What this means is that, it will have a limited amount of ways to attack – use negative negations – against you.
Achilles Heal: The Inner Bully will utilize the same attacks against you over and over again. If you get to know what these patterns of attacks are then you will be able to discover which counter attacks – positive affirmations – neutralize them. Some of your counter attacks will neutralize the Inner Bully’s attacks after just one usage. Others you will have to use more then just once. But the final outcome will be the same. You will silence the Inner Bully indefinitely and get rid of your Inner Demon forever.
Every one of us has a different sort of Inner Bully. So the best way that I can assist you in conquering the Inner Bully within you is to show you what I am doing to uproot the unwanted and unneeded rotten weed from my psyche.
The following are the negative negation PATTERNS, which I have discovered so far, that my inner bully attempts to manipulate and or intimidate me with that I have been able to decode from negative emotions into negative thoughts, and the PATTERNS of positive affirmations I use to counter act my Inner Bully:
INNER BULLY ATTACK PATTERN “YOU ARE TO BLAME FOR BEING A VICTIM OF BULLYING” THEME.
[The “You Are to Blame for Being a Victim of Bullying” theme originates from the Bully Culture]
My Inner Bully will relentlessly insist that even though I do my very best I am liable for the fact that every aspect of my life is an utter failure. I am a “have not”. I have no community, no husband, no family, no friends, no children, no health, no religion, no career and no money.
So I developed...
MY COUNTER ATTACK PATTERN “IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT I LIVE IN A BULLY CULTURE” THEME.
I let my Inner Bully know that, “It is not my fault that I live in a Bully Culture. If people decided not to live in a Bully Culture then I will have it all. Meanwhile, I have myself. I am not a bully coward and I am not a victim. I am free to strive to be the God loving moral and ethical one of a kind genius self-actualized individual that God created me to be. And it is exciting and meaningful to be alive in this way, especially if my healing of myself also heals others.”
It has forever neutralized my Inner Bully’s claim that I am a pathetic and pitiful loser in society.
INNER BULLY COWARD ATTACK PATTERN “WHY AREN’T YOU A QUICK STUDY?” THEME.
[The “Quick Study” theme originated from my father who compared my sister who was an effortlessly “straight A” student to me a hard working “B student” in academia]
My Inner Bully will recall bullying events that happened years ago that I did not deal with well.
I tried telling my Inner Bully that, “I am a work in progress”. But that affirmation did not work. All it did was fuel my Inner Bully’s fire that I am overcoming bullying too slowly.
So I developed...
MY COUNTER ATTACK PATTERN “PATHETIC AND PITIFUL RECALL!” PART I THEME.
“How pathetic and pitiful you are Inner Bully that I am such a good fighter against bullying now that you have to go so far back into the past to remind me of bullying battles I did not engage in well.”
It has forever neutralized my Inner Bully’s claim that I am a slow processer. However occasionally my Inner Bully will attack me with this attack pattern, but less and less frequently. Talk about slow processing! So I remind it with my counter attack pattern.
INNER BULLY COWARD ATTACK PATTERN “SELECTIVE MEMORY" THEME.
My Inner Bully will only recall the bullying events in my life that I did not deal with well.
MY COUNTER ATTACK PATTERN “PATHETIC AND PITIFUL RECALL!” PART II THEME.
“How pathetic and pitiful you are Inner Bully that I am such a good fighter against bullying now that you only remember my failures at fighting back against bullying, as you are too cowardly to remember my successes at fighting back against bullying.
INNER BULLY COWARD ATTACK PATTERN “YOU MAKE THE WORST DECISIONS” THEME.
[The “You Made the Worst Decision” theme is still under subconscious construction. Consequently I am not aware of its origins]
My Inner Bully was chiding me that I earned the following certificates while I was in high school: re-motivation therapy award, scholastic athlete award, and accountant award. Yet, due to a bad decision I made, I lost them in a fire.
So I developed...
MY COUNTER ATTACK PATTERN “EVERY THING IS FOR THE BEST” THEME.
“These awards are no longer applicable to my life for I do not have a career in psychology, athletics, or bookkeeping. Unbeknownst to me my destiny has been for me to become a writer, Inner Bully.”
It has forever neutralized my Inner Bully’s claim that I make stupid decisions.
INNER BULLY COWARD ATTACK PATTERN “YOU MAKE THE WORST DECISIONS” PART II THEME.
My inner bully was berating me for trusting a doctor to use the surgeon’s knife for it left a scar on my body.
MY COUNTER ATTACK PATTERN “EVERY THING IS FOR THE BEST” PART II THEME.
“Inner Bully, in my life I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don’t. I stopped trusting dentists because they were lying to me that I had tooth decay in order to drill unnecessary holes in my mouth for extra profit. So I refused to permit them to do so. One day it so happened that I did get tooth decay. And I lost the tooth since I did not believe the corrupt dentist.
One day without warning and very rapidly a bump was growing underneath my right armpit. I had not ever had such a physical ailment in my entire life and I did not know what was happening to me. In addition the cyst was accompanied by a fever. So I went to the hospital’s emergency room. The doctor believed there was puss in the cyst. So he decided to drain it. In order to do so he opened my flesh. But there was no puss there, which surprised him greatly.
The doctor made a two-inch incision under my right armpit. He said it will leave a small scar there. It left a large scar there. Thanks to I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don’t, had I refused to allow the doctor to make a knife incision in my skin I will have had puss in my cyst, which will have gotten infected, and God only knows what else will have happened to me.”
It has forever neutralized my Inner Bully’s claim that I make stupid decisions.
THE INNER BULLY'S LIES, HALF TRUTHS, AND TRUTHS
Usually your Inner Bully will tell you lies, or half-truths about yourself.
Subsequently, you will be able to neutralize your Inner Bully’s negative negations with your positive affirmations just by declaring the truth.
However, on a rare occasion your Inner Bully will tell you the whole truth about yourself.
Consequently, what do you do when your Inner Bully attacks you with a negative negation that you have no positive affirmation for?
The following real life scenario called, “Fail Safe” illustrates how I vanquish my own Inner Bully when I truly do fail to succeed at fighting back against bullying:
I was selling a house that I owned in Lakewood, California. One day, two American Black females banged on my door to see my home. But instead of viewing the house one of them vocally criticized my home by making an issue of that fact that I had painted it a vivid orange color. In addition she sniped, “Is the next color that you paint it going to be purple?” followed by her sardonic laughter. Soon after they left.
The following dialogue is what my Inner Bully hounded me with periodically:
Inner Bully: “Why did you open the door to them when you woulda, shoulda, coulda had your Real Estate agent handle the selling of your Real Estate property?”
Me: “I let them enter. For what other reason might they be there for except to look at Real Estate property that they were interested in buying?”
Inner Bully: “But you ought to have prevented yourself being victimized by bullying by simply ignoring the door! After all, there were fliers in front of your home for them to take to contact your broker if they were interested in your house.”
Me: “It did not occur to me to do that.”
Inner Bully: “Why didn’t you tell her, ‘Imagine it! You are two colored people who have hundreds of years of history of being persecuted for the color of your skin. Yet, you are making an issue about the color of a building’.”
Me: “It did not occur to me to tell them that.”
One day, while my Inner Bully was hounding me with this negative negation, the following positive affirmation suddenly occurred to me:
“You know Inner Bully after they left my home I saw the car these two Black females were driving parked in my driveway. That was when I knew they were not able to afford buying my property. So it is truly pathetic and pitiful that these two Black adult females had nothing better to do with their lives, like go to a job, or take care of children, or engage in some fun activity, but to go out of their way to come to my home for the sole purpose of bullying me about the color of my house. And the bully with the big mouth was obviously a coward, too, being that she did not come all by herself to bully me. She had to take her friend along with her. And being that I did not say anything to her insults, she was not able to notice any upset from me. So she got two lumps of pain. One, for making all of the effort to bother me, to no avail! Two, for failing to succeed at bothering me!”
“You know Inner Bully after the bullying incident, one day, a truck load full of road workers who wear orange uniforms and align road ways with orange cones drove by my property while I was gardening the front yard and cheered, and smiled, and gave me the ‘thumbs up’ sign. And a worker for the city, who was a building inspector, came to my property to inspect electrical work that had been done on it and he said cheerfully, “You have the brightest house in all of Lakewood.”
We live in a fail safe universe.
This means that, for every bullying problem there is a bullying solution.
Notice how the Bully Culture criticizes the victim for being a victim of bullying. However, the Bully Culture does not criticize the bully for being a bully of bullying.
Focusing on how truthfully foolish these outer bully(s) were forever neutralized my Inner Bully’s truthful claim about me. After all, criticism ought to go to them, not I. For they are the ones being, thinking, feeling, and doing BAD.
Did you know that your Inner Bully has its own mentality? It’s called, “The Victim Mentality”.
[See the section entitled, “The Victim Legacy” in the web page called, “Emotional Bullying” in the BullCrap Busters website for more details about the Victim Mentality.]
Your Inner Bully uses the victim mentality to override your own Divinely innate mentality in order to make you believe you are helpless, hopeless, and worthless when you fight back against bullying. For the Inner Bully knows that if it can make you believe in the victim mentality then it can make you decide, “What is the use of fighting back against bullying?!”
The Inner Bully does this by pointing at the mistakes that you make when you fight back against bullying. In fact this is how the Inner Bully derives at the various negative negations it offers you, such as the ones I have already written about regarding my own Inner Bully.
What you will discover is that no one and no thing in the entire cosmos can be perfect except for God for the simple reason that God designed us to be interdependent creatures of creation so that life can exist.
That being said…
The Inner Bully will always have something to criticize you with. Even the battles against bullying that you do, which were your Master Pieces because they seemed so flawless in your execution of them. Since the primordial forces of the universe of Yin and Yang both have a little bit of their opposite counterpart – Yin has a dot of Yang in it and Yang has a dot of Yin in it – this means that there will always be a flaw – a little bit of good in the bad that wicked bully(s) do and a little bit of bad in the good that righteous victims do.
That being said…
Question: What do you do when your inner bully will always have plenty of excuses to bully you with?
There are some types of bully(s) that it is best to IGNORE, such as the Narcissistic bully.
[See the web page called, “Updates 6/21/18” of the BullCrap Busters web site for details about the Narcissistic Bully].
Answer: You never pay attention to your inner bully again!
After challenging your Inner Bully for a while by cancelling its negative negations with your positive affirmations, including the negative negations that you cannot refute by reminding your inner bully that no thing and no one is meant to be perfect, which is a positive affirmation in and of itself, you will be ready to graduate to the final level of vanquishing your Inner Bully.
Of course, your Inner Bully will relentlessly keep pounding on you to pay attention to it.
No matter how often you challenge your inner bully by cancelling its negative negations with your positive affirmations, it will not shut up. Your Inner Bully is going to forever insist that you are to believe it no matter what you say to refute it.
The reason for this is because your inner bully is not reasonable. You cannot reason with your inner bully since its only goal is to get you to do its bidding without having to have any reason.
The inner bully is nothing more and nothing less than a bad parent. So when the innocent child questions the bad parent’s authority the bad parent will say, “You will do as I say.” And when the innocent child asks, “Why?” The bad parent will answer, “Because I am your mother/father!” There is no right or wrong in this equation, only the notion that we ought to obey authority for the simple reason that it has self appointed itself as an authority.
So why bother challenging your Inner Bully? So that you can arrive at the realization that anything and everything your Inner Bully says to you is so absurd that all you can do is boot your Inner Bully to the curb.Once you recognize that your Inner Bully, just like all outer bully(s), is full of nothing more and nothing less than Bull Crap you will come to the conclusion that there is no reason for you to take your Inner Bully seriously.
So how do you ignore your Inner Bully?
The Inner Bully, like the virus that it is to your Divine innate mental computer programming, has infiltrated your entire mind. This means that, your brain via your forebrain, your heart via your midbrain, and your actions via your hindbrain are all being controlled by the Inner Bully and, depending upon the individual victim, one of these three aspects of Inner Bully mind control is more dominant than the rest.
That being said…
There is only one way that I know of to make your Inner Bully leave you alone.
I am not referring to traditional types of meditation, but rather a form of meditation that is easy to do with a little practice. In order to practice this kind of mediation do not think any thoughts or feel any emotions and relax your body as much as you can. Do not even concentrate on your breathing. Though Yogis meditate for hours daily, you only have to meditate for five or ten minutes a day and preferably when you are ready to go to sleep for the night, as that is when you are becoming relaxed any way.
The Inner Bully knows that if you do not pay attention to it, it will perish, just like the Narcissist, who is not getting Narcissistic Supply, will wither.
[See the web page called, “Updates 6/21/18” of the BullCrap Busters web site for details about the Narcissistic Bully].
So whenever, wherever, however, your Inner Bully infiltrates your mind, heart, or body with its dysfunctional mental programming do not resist the Inner Bully’s negative thoughts, bad feelings or contemplations for making you do regretful actions that enter your mind. Instead meditate by refusing to pay attention to their invasion of your psyche by ignoring their existence. Once you do that, the Inner Bully’s negative thoughts, bad feelings or contemplations for making you do regretful actions, will have no other choice but to exit your mind.
The Bully Culture via its outer bully members reinforces our inner bully. And we inherit our inner bully from significant others such as our parents. But when, where, how, who, and why did our inner villain come into existence?
Our inner demon originates from the Yin or destructive side of us for example thru our own self doubts also known as ignorance because we either do not know or since we do not care. God is our role model for how to eradicate the inner nuisance. God has free will. This means that God knows how to make both the yin force of destruction and the yang force of construction work together simultaneously to serve life for instance by way of a volcano's lava flow-death, which produces cultivatable soil-life.
In every occurrence in which we overcome bullying by either being the bully who reforms, or the bystander who makes the choice to protest and resist bullying by rescuing the victim instead of supporting or tolerating the bullying by attacking the victim, or the victim who decides to rescue himself from the bullying by fighting back against the bullying we become like God by elevating our dark yin side into our yang light side. Thereby, merging them into a wholeness of illumination or what is known as enlightenment, which can be attained no matter what physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual level you are on just by doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do.
People have free choice. This means that humans have to choose either yin or yang in any and every occurrence to serve life. Such requires balancing the yang side of us of cherishing peace with the yin side of us of fighting for justice.
We are partners with God in our own creation. So the decisions that we make of our own free choice determine whom we were, are, and will be. This is why God created our universe by way of these two principle powers of yang and yin versus the one singularity of divinity. It is God's will that we choose to serve the greatest good - our own self preservation over being a puppet who must obey the puppet master - the Bully Culture by being slaves to our own extinction. We do this not by controlling each other by making choices at other peoples’ expense, but by freeing one another by making choices that benefit us all.
For more information on the workings of the Inner Bully see the Mental Bullying web page of the BullCrap Busters website].
The BullCrap Busters Website will transmit its signals over the Internet for as long as we have not been CENSORED off the web due to the ELITE CYBER BULLY as a result of LIBEL and/or SLANDER, and/or ANTI-MARKETING CAMPAIGNS, and/or BANKRUPT by bought off justice, and/or ARRESTED and/or INCARCERATED by trumped up charges, and/or MURDERED by a staged accident by those who have the audacity to call themselves FRIENDS of humanity, yet who are ENEMIES to us who dare to exercise our HUMAN RIGHTS, namely FREEDOM of SPEECH, in order to assist HUMANITY in overcoming BULLYING.