BULLY’S MASKS AND FACES OF BULLYING
BULLY’S MASKS AND FACES OF BULLYING
By Elana Laham © 2013 Elana Laham
Once upon a time I heard a story about the most bullish bully of all – the Devil. It was said that the Devil went around holding his hand out to people and declared, “Come see what I have! It is very precious indeed! You must have it!” After that, the Devil reached out his closed hand, and coaxed his captive audience into chasing him all about so that they might posses the valuable thing behind the Devil’s folded fingers. But when the people finally caught up to the Devil and pried open the trickster’s palm, they discovered that there was nothing in it!
Welcome to the empty Devil’s hand, which is the bully’s bag full of tricks – the bully’s RUSES. They are the bully’s MASKS of INTIMIDATION and of MANIPULATION that the bully hides behind in order to FOOL us into being victimized by bullying. Since we are all responsible for the bully being born, in order to ward off bullying, we must challenge the Devil’s fist by becoming familiar with the masks of intimidation and manipulation that the bully wears. Then and only then, will we know that all the bully really is...is a poker face, a hot air balloon, a hole in a doughnut, a sheep’s skin, an empty promise, and an empty threat. Otherwise, the bully will continue to wrap us around his little finger and stomp us underneath his big toe.
The following is a list of the bully’s ruses that the bully uses to bully others:
RUSE #1: THE NAME CALLER BULLY
“Sticks and stone may break our bones but names will never hurt me”. The first part of this saying is the truth but the second part of this saying is a lie. Name-calling can emotionally scar a victim for life unless the victim knows what to do against the onslaught of the name calling bully. One thing that the victim can do to overcome the emotional hurt of the name calling bully is to realize how STUPID the bully is for calling the victim such names. As a child I was one of the few kids in school who had to wear glasses. So the bully called me, “Four eyes”. That really upset me until one day when the bully called another kid with glasses, “Four eyes” and the kid retorted back, “Four eyes are better than two!” As I thought about what the other kid had said to the bully it made me ponder some of the amazing things that nearsighted people can see without their glasses that regular sighted people cannot see. Nearsighted people, without the aid of a magnifying glass, can observe every single detail - the swirls, the curves, the hills, the valleys, and the dots - that geometrically form one’s own fingerprint. Nearsighted people, without the aid of trick photography, can view multiple moons coming out of the one moon in our earthen sky. Nearsighted people, without the aid of a science book, can look at the black and yellow jacket of fur that the bee’s body wears to keep itself fashionably warm in cold weather. There are advantages and disadvantages to everything under the sun and over the moon. So, while the name calling bully calls the victim “four eyes” in order to make the victim feel inferior, who is really the superior human specimen, when the victim with abnormal vision can see things that the bully with normal eyesight will never ever see with his own naked eye?
RUSE #2: THE BLOW FISH BULLY
There is a fish that lives in the ocean called a Blow Fish. Whenever a predator preys upon a Blow Fish, the Blow Fish inflates itself several times larger than its normal size to convince its enemies that it is too big to trifle with. It does this by sucking lots of air into its gills. Like the Blow Fish, the Blow Fish bully makes it appear that he is bigger than he really is. But unlike the Blow Fish in the sea that uses its larger size as a defense mechanism to protect itself from danger, the Blow Fish bully
inflates his size with a lot of hot air in order to convince people not to defend themselves against him.
The following is a real life scenario that illustrates how the Blow Fish bully operates:
I sued Bally Total Fitness for Breach of Contract. One of its managers had signed a contract agreeing to let me be a guest of Bally for one month. This meant that I was allowed to use its facilities for free. But after three days of doing so another manager told me that I could not. Even though I argued that a contract had been agreed upon in which both parties, myself, and the manager, had signed, I was told that if she did not leave the gym right away security would throw me out. So I told Bally Total Fitness that I was going to pursue legal action against them for Breach of Contract.
Several days later, I received a call from Bally Total Fitness threatening that, if I went to small claim's court against them, they would make me look bad in court.
On the day of the trial, instead of getting the judge that was assigned by the court to my legal case, an attorney took the judge's stand. In addition, the manager who signed the one month guest contract was conveniently absent from the courtroom. Instead two regional managers showed up who had nothing to do with the law suit. The judge acting lawyer exercised a loop hole in the law on contracts. Since I did not give Bally Total Fitness any money to use their facilities, Bally Total Fitness was not obligated to honor its contract with me. That should have been the end of the hearing. But it wasn't.
Instead both the lawyer-acting-judge and the defendant, Bally Total Fitness, proceeded to punish the plaintiff - me for daring to stand up for my consumer rights by attempting to humiliate me in court. Bally Total Fitness had its own employees BARE FALSE WITNESS IN COURT against me. Bally Total Fitness's employees, whom I had never met during the three days that I was allowed to use their gym, committed slander by falsely accusing me of being a "trouble maker". Bally Total Fitness's employees also did PERJURY IN COURT by committing libel by signing false statements that I was a "trouble maker". The lawyer-acting-judge made several nasty untrue remarks herself about the plaintiff to the plaintiff. One of them was to insist that I made it a practice to go to every gym in town just to get free passes. She asserted this in the courtroom without any evidence whatsoever supporting her claim. Bally Total Fitness was the only gym the I had ever gone to.
It was a most unpleasant experience for me to have gone to court that day. For Bally Total Fitness's only concern was to blow up its image by harassing me for filing a LEGITIMATE legal complaint against Bally Total Fitness. But, all Bally Total Fitness ended up doing, by being a Blow Fish bully, was to cut itself down to size.
Bally Total Fitness did this by having to pay $120.00 out of its own pocket just to have its Regional Managers show up in court. Also, it cost about $25.00 an hour to have its corrupt employees write up their false derogatory reports about the me. This totaled a minimum of about $145.00 that came out of Bally Total Fitness's own pocket just to bad mouth me during my day in court.
What Bally Total Fitness ought to have done for their own sake was to honor the contract that their own manager made with the me by letting me use the free month pass that their own manager had given me. Such would have cost Bally Total Fitness a total of about $50.00 instead of $145.00. Moreover, Bally Total Fitness would have gotten a new member for hundreds of dollars more per year. Furthermore, Bally Total Fitness would have gotten more business due my telling my friends to join Bally Total Fitness.
In business terms we say, "Bally Total Fitness kicked its own butt in with its own boot". About fifteen years later, Bally Total Fitness went bankrupt and had to be taken over by a new owner in order to keep it from going out of business. Gee! I wonder why?
RUSE #3: THE KNOW IT ALL BULLY
The Know-It-All bully adheres to the motto of, “Fake it until you make it” by making it appear that he is smart by making it seem that others are stupid.
The following are the ways in which he does this:
a) The Know-It-All bully gives unsolicited advice that he, himself, does not follow. Just tell him, “When I take unasked for advice I get myself into trouble”
b) The Know-It-All bully never admits that he is wrong and he never says, “I don’t know”. Life experience not regurgitated information is the best teacher.
c) The Know-It-All bully uses his prestigious career title or prominent position in society as an authority figure to get people to believe him. Learn to question authority.
d) The Know-It-All bully gets you lost in his longwinded gibberish by blabbering irrelevant information. Just tell him, “That is not what I am talking about” or “That is not what I asked you”.
e) The Know-It-All bully constantly interrupts you. Keep repeating what you are trying to tell him until he acknowledges what you are saying.
f) The Know-It-All bully uses complex jargon to make the simplest point. Just tell him, “English please”.
g) The Know-It-All bully tries to convince you that he is the expert by saying, “I have been doing this for umpteen years”. Ask yourself this, “What has he been doing for umpteen years, mastering his craft or acting like a jerk?”
j) The Know-It-All bully orders people around by speaking in a bossy tone of voice, vocalizing harsh words, wearing a facial expression that denotes haughtiness or displaying aggression through non verbal body gestures such as standing over you, leaning into you, glaring down at you, or sticking his finger in your face. Just tell him, “Oh listen to the nonsense!” so that you don’t take him so seriously.
The following is a real life scenario that illustrates how the Know-It-All bully operates:
I was in a conversation with a woman I had just met about fitness. I was expressing my opinion to her that it made sense to me that athletes who exercise at higher altitudes than normal will lose excessive weight at a faster rate than athletes who don’t since they will have to burn up more calories just to grab oxygen. Suddenly, while I was speaking, a Know-It-All bully whom I did not know butted into our private discussion and abruptly shouted at me, “You are wrong!!!” Besides the shockingly high volume, and hostile tone of her voice, she leaned so close into my face that I was able to feel the hot air streaming out of the Know-It-All bully’s big mouth. After that, the Know-It-All bully, whom I did not know, quoted sources on the subject to prove without a doubt that she knew what she was talking about. What happened next was that, the Know-It-All bully’s buddy chimed in by saying, “You better listen to her. She has a degree in fitness and nutrition and she has been working in the field for twenty years”. My reply to the argumentative duo was, “I don’t wish to argue about it”. But as if the Know-It-All bully had not heard a word that I said, she continued her verbal tirade. I said nothing more and walked away. Three years later, while I was watching TV, I saw a commercial advertising a new kind of exercise that was being promoted at various fitness centers. It showed an athlete running on a treadmill inside of a booth that had been designed to make the athlete breathe thinner air. The narrator of the advertisement stated that a study had been conducted that clearly indicated that people who exercise at higher altitudes lost more weight and at a faster rate than people who did not.
RUSE #4: THE GOSSIP MONGER BULLY
Gossip is the human being’s twilight bark of the dog. It travels fast and tells people the NEWS about what is going on in the world. In and of itself it is a very constructive way to communicate because it is both informative and expedient...that is, unless and/or until it gets into the mouth of a bully. The Gossip Monger bully is not an informant – one who gives neutral information about persons, places, and/or things. The Gossip Monger bully says and/or writes negative remarks about others that are for the most part lies so that he can (a) unjustifiably harm or hurt an innocent individual and (b) portray himself as “the” victim and (c) rally bystanders to gang up on the lone victim because he is too much of a mega wimp to bully the victim all by himself. An untrue derogatory verbal statement is referred to as slander. An untrue derogatory written statement is referred to as libel. Slander and/or libel have dangerous ramifications for not only do they ruin a decent person’s reputation but they make it difficult if not impossible for that person to overcome the “bad name” that slander and libel has given him even after that person’s name has been cleared.
There are three components to gossip mongering. One, is the speaker who perpetuates the gossip – yours truly, the bully. Two, is the listener who listens to, believes in, and acts upon the gossip – yours truly, the bystander. Three, is the target who has his social and/or economic reputation damaged or ruined by the gossip - yours truly, the victim. The best way to deal with gossip is a) if you are the victim, have nothing to do with the bully or the bully’s followers and b) if you are the bystander, don’t socialize with the bully or hang around the bully’s gang. For c) if the bully cannot find others to participate in his gossip mongering, the gossip will be rendered null and void and NOT be able to harm and/or hurt innocent others. The only instance in which one ought to take gossip seriously is if it is NEWS that either informs others about positive things or it warns others about LEGITIMATE – evidence based – negative concerns so that one can protect and defend oneself from REAL danger.
The following is an excerpt from a real life scenario: [See the BullCrap Busters segment entitled, “The Enforcer Bully” under the section called “Who in the World are Mr. Michael and Mrs. Elana Laham” for further details]. It illustrates how the Gossip Monger bully operates:
Mr. Michael Laham and Mrs. Elana Laham moved into a new neighborhood into a condo that they owned. The neighbor across the way from them, named KATHRYN DENISE MORRELL, was making excessive noise on a daily basis. Every morning this neighbor awoke Mrs. Laham with her screaming at her son, “VINCENT!!!” The noise was so relentless that Mrs. Laham kept having dreams at night after she went to sleep that referred to her neighbor as “Mrs. Loud House”. One fine day, in a civil manner Mrs. Laham asked her neighbor if she would please keep the noise level down. But instead of curtailing her high pitched yelling, the neighbor became unjustifiably angry with Mrs. Laham for daring to voice her legitimate complaint about the inconsiderate racket that she was making, and so she spread untrue derogatory gossip about Mrs. and Mr. Laham, to neighbors, whom the Lahams did not even know. In no time at all, the residents of THE SPRINGS CONDOMINIUM Complex swallowed the invalid nonsense, and even though, they also did not know the new couple on the block, instead of minding their own business – because apparently they did not have any business of their own worth minding – they joined in a fight that was not theirs, and formed a gossip ring about Mr. and Mrs. Laham that nearly got them unjustifiably incarcerated.
Commercial: Wicked gossip is like the game called telephone. As the slander and/or libel passes along its nasty lies from one ear to the next it becomes more and more exaggerated expanding into multiple highly blown out of proportion falsehoods until the original lie that entered one end of the telephone exits the other end of the telephone as completely and totally unrecognizable.
Now back to our story: Within no time at all, the gossip mongering bully neighbor’s damaging words escalated into a false claim that Mr. and Mrs. Laham were involved in criminal activity. So even though vandalism and theft had been going on in the neighborhood long before Mr. and Mrs. Laham moved into it, the new couple was now the scapegoat for any and every illegal activity that took place within the community. Although no one ever witnessed Mr. and Mrs. Laham doing anything illegitimate, every time some misdemeanor took place, the Springs Condominium neighbors called the Irvine Police Department on the new couple. Without any evidence, and in spite of Mr. and Mrs. Laham’s protests that they were NOT participating in any crime, the Irvine Police assumed –ASS U ME’D” – that because “Everybody says so, therefore, it must be true”. So both the neighbors and the police tried to catch Mr. and Mrs. Laham doing criminal activity. As time went by, the Spring Condominium Neighbors and the Irvine Police became so incensed that the new couple was getting away with some crime that the Springs Condominium Association hired security guards and the Springs Condominium neighborhood watch held weekly neighborhood meetings in their attempt to “GET” the so called “BAD” people into illegal trouble.
A couple of years and thousands of dollars later, spent on the Keystone Pacific’s security guard service, and tax payers’ money spent on the Irvine Police Department went by, but the Lahams did not get into any legal trouble for breaking the law because the Lahams were not lawbreakers. However, thoroughly traumatized by all of the twilight zone outer limits events that had transpired against them, the Lahams sold their condo and moved away.
RUSE #5: THE MISTER & MISS POPULAR BULLY
The Popular bully, who is the leader of the popular crowd, ENTICES the “outsider” to join the “insider’s” group by perpetuating the Bully Culture’s myth that, “Popular people have more fun”. However, in order to obtain membership into the “in” crowd, the outsider must grovel for the Popular bully’s approval thereby subjecting him self to public humiliation. Then, even after doing so, instead of being granted social acceptance, the outsider is singled out as the bully target wherein he is made to endure physical beatings and /or verbal berating before the so called “cool” kids. What the outsider does not realize is that the “cool” kids are “hot” tempered, miserable, spoiled, adulterated brats that can only find amusement by tormenting those who have the audacity to, like any other human being, desire to BELONG.
Well guess what? Being part of the popular bully and his minions is highly overrated. It demands that young people do downright dangerous and stupid things like take drugs, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, vandalize or steal property, have unprotected sex, or get bad grades in school. What is so fun about endangering your own health or jeopardizing your own future by becoming addicted to a fatal substance, by contracting an incurable sexually transmitted disease, by having a child when you are still a child, by being yoked with a criminal record, and/or by not getting a proper education?!
So the truth of the matter is that Mister and Miss Popular bully and their sidekicks don’t have a clue as to how to have any fun.
RUSE #6: THE VICTIM BULLY
The Victim bully influences others to believe that it is he, the bully, who is really the victim, so that he can continue to get away with victimizing the real victim. He does this by getting the victim into trouble for the bully’s behavior, and getting the Good Samaritan into trouble for attempting to stop the bully, and recruiting the bystander to rescue him from getting into trouble for being a bully.
The following real life scenario entitled, "No Trespassing for Sassing" illustrates how the victim bully operates:
On 5/13/13 we went shopping at the Bellevue Mall. I asked my spouse to go to the GODIVA CHOCOLATE SHOP, LOCATED AT 147 BELLEVUE SQUARE, BELLEVUE, WASHINGTON 98004, to buy one milk chocolate turtle with the Godiva medallion stamp on it, one dark chocolate turtle with the Godiva medallion stamp on it, one milk chocolate almond bark and one dark chocolate almond bark. When my spouse came out of the store, I waved to him that I was across the aisle, “window” shopping. He came over to me and told me that Godiva did not have any dark chocolate with the Godiva medallion stamp on it. So I went back to the Godiva shop to buy one more piece of candy as a substitute. But just before I entered the store, a tall, fat, blonde haired female (I do not know her name) came out of the back of the Godiva Shop and told me, “You are not welcome in our store.” I said, “Oh, okay.” After that, I pointed to the Godiva candy that her store had just sold us and I said, “I’ll just go to another Godiva chocolate shop. Bye, have a nice day” and I waved and continued on my merry way. She just stood there in front of her store and said no more.
I asked my husband what was going on. He told me that the Godiva clerk rudely laughed at him for no reason so he told her, “You laugh for nonsensical reasons. You are funny.” Then, she gave some lame excuse why she was rudely laughing. So he told her, “That’s nonsense.” Her name was JAMIE. We know because she wrote it on the Godiva receipt next to a, “Tell us about your experience today at Godiva by completing our survey” statement on the bottom of the Godiva receipt that Jamie had given my spouse.
By the way, I tried to post my customer feedback to Godiva by completing their survey at the www.godiva.com/customersurvey Internet address that was given in order to do so. However, that website address did not allow me to. About a week before that, I had a similar experience with a Godiva clerk named PAGE. I had asked for six pieces of chocolate candy. As she removed them from the showcase and put them into a bag she laughed. So I said, “You laugh for nonsensical reasons. You are funny.” Then she gave me some lame excuse why she was rudely laughing. So I told her, “That’s nonsense.” After that we left the Godiva shop.
My spouse and I continued on our merry way to our next destination, which was Taco del Mar. We were going to have some dinner there. Suddenly, ONE police officer from the BELLEVUE POLICE DEPARTMENT and FOUR security guards from the BELLEVUE MALL surrounded us. The officer spoke first. He said while looking at us, “What happened at the Godiva Shop?” So I told him, “While we were buying chocolate the Godiva clerk rudely laughed at my spouse for no reason so my spouse said, “You laugh for nonsensical reasons.” Then, she made some silly excuse why she was laughing at my spouse, so my spouse told her, “That’s nonsense.” After that, we were told to leave the establishment. So we left.” When we were finished talking, the Bellevue Police Officer asked for and took our Driver’s Licenses while saying, “You are not going to be arrested but the Bellevue Mall security are going to talk to you.”
Now one of the four Bellevue Mall security guards explained to us that Godiva had filed a one-year no-trespassing order against us. It stated that we were harassing their employees. I frowned at the word “harassing”. It is a very vague word. Godiva was using that word to vilify us by implying that we had done something wrong without providing any evidence to prove that indeed we had. All we had done was sass two of their employees for being rude to us for nothing. “How absurd”, I said. Then he said, “This is private property so they can file a no trespassing order against you for any reason.” I said, “For expressing our freedom of speech? Fine! So I guess they don’t like the color of my blue eyes.” After that, the same Bellevue Mall security guard showed me that the one-year no trespassing order not only included the Godiva Shop, but also the entire Bellevue Square Mall, a place called Lincoln Square, a place called Bellevue Place, and a place called Bellevue Properties. Neither I nor my spouse had ever visited any of them. “Wow!” I said in a complete state of shock, “Why don’t you just ban us from the whole town of Bellevue?” Incensed at the absurdity of it all, I said with sarcasm, “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of Corporate America which is turning America into Nazi Germany.” I added, “Fine. There are plenty of other Malls that I can shop at.” None of them said anything to that.
Now one of the Bellevue Mall security guards who was wearing glasses accused us of going into the Godiva shop six times to call Godiva’s employees names. I was not able to believe what I was hearing. “Six times?” I asked. He said, “Godiva has both audio and visual.” “They do?” “I’d like to see and hear it” I said. He told me, “You can see it in a year after the no trespassing order is over.” I said, “Why, because you don’t have any such audio or visual?” None of them said anything to that.
Now the Bellevue Mall security guard with the glasses blurted out, “You did it! Admit it!” I said, "Just because you believe the business just because it’s the business and you don’t believe the consumer just because I am the consumer, doesn't mean that I did anything.” None of them said anything to that.
Now I told the Bellevue Mall security guard with glasses, “How strange that Godiva files a one-year no trespassing order on us AFTER not BEFORE Godiva just sold us some chocolate” and I held up the bag of Godiva chocolate that we had just bought along with the receipt that Godiva had just given us. None of them said anything to that.
Now the Bellevue Mall security guard who was wearing the glasses started to tell me what a one-year no trespassing order was. I said, “I know what a no trespassing order is.” He said, “Is that because you have had one filed against you before?” I said, “No. It is because I learned law before you were in diapers."
Now I asked, “Why don’t you go catch some criminals? You know, like the ones who come into the mall with machine guns and shoot people?” He replied, “Are you making threats?” “I said, “Oh my God! This conversation is over. You are twisting my words around. I take the Fifth.” I was referring to the Fifth Amendment of the United States Constitution. It states that every American citizen has the right to remain silent, because anything one says can and will be used against one in a court of law.
Now one of the other Bellevue Mall security guards took photos of us as if we are dangerous people who make threats, do vandalism, steal things, and/or attack people. Flabbergasted, I said, “If America goes to war we will lose because none of you people know what your priorities are.” None of them said anything to that.
Now another Bellevue Mall security guard requested that we sign the one-year no trespassing orders. I asked, “Do we have to?” He said to my surprise, “No.” So I said, “I am not going to dignify it by signing it.” And we didn’t. He then told us, “You can appeal the one-year no trespassing order.” I said, “The business is always right and the consumer is always wrong so I am not going to waste my time.”
During the whole time that we were being detained another one of the Bellevue Mall security guards, who was stocky in build, just stood there next to me on my left and smiled. I commented, “I know why you are smiling. But I am not going to say why, as you will deny it.” I believe that he was morbidly amused that his job required him to harass patrons and in such a manner for merely sassing back rude-for-nothing workers.
Now all four Bellevue Mall security guards escorted us to our car. The one with the glasses said, “Now don’t you forget about that pink slip" (the copy of the one-year no trespassing order that they had given us). I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling and told all of them, “Both of us are in our fifties. Neither one of us has ever had in our entire lives any criminal record. But since you are harassing us for no good reason, we are going to blog you on the Internet.”
Now the fourth Bellevue Mall security guard, who had not said anything to us at all, rudely said in a bossy and hostile tone of voice, “Leave!” So I said in a chirpy, sarcastic tone of voice, “Bye. Have a nice day. We will.” After that we got into our car and drove away.
WE WILL NEVER EVER DO BUSINESS WITH ANY GODIVA CHOCOLATE SHOP OR SHOP AT THE BELLEVUE MALL LOCATED IN BELLEVUE SQUARE IN BELLEVUE, WASHINGTON, AGAIN!!!
If the reader is interested in viewing the Godiva receipt and the notice of no trespassing order along with the map illustrating the areas we are banned from for one year then please go to hyperlink Godiva Receipt and Notice of No Trespassing Order at www.bullcrapbusters.com
RUSE #7: THE ISOLATOR BULLY
Human beings are social animals. We must have social contact with other people. So the Isolator bully may as well be nicknamed “the terminator” for he is the facilitator of suicidal and homicidal victims of bullying since he socially ostracizes innocent individuals. The Isolator bully takes the victim’s will to live away from him by making the victim’s peers believe that there is something intrinsically wrong with the victim. Then the victim is singled out as the ONLY ONE who gets bullied and thereby becomes the ONLY ONE who is socially banned from the rest. After that, the Isolator bully tells the victim, “Everyone hates you” or “Nobody likes you” to add insult to injury.
The Isolator bully gets the victim to ponder the primordial question of, “Why me?” “Why am I a victim of bullying?” And when that question goes unanswered, or gets incorrectly ricocheted off of the wall, and it will, thanks to the Bully Culture, the victim concludes that he must eliminate his so called defective self, and/or those who have deemed his God given existence a fluke. But what makes a victim compelled to take his own life and/or the life of others just because he is the ONLY ONE being bullied and others shun him? Isn’t that rather extreme? Not really. Do you know what crib death is? It occurs when a newborn infant dies in its crib because no one picks it up and holds it or plays with it or talks to it.
Now envision this: One innocent child out of all of the other children in the entire school is selected by the Isolator bully to be the bully target. That means that throughout elementary school, junior high school, and high school even college that kid is going to be shunned by ALL of his peers. It will not matter if the child relocates to different schools since libel and slander travel fast and far. You can thank cyber bullying for that. If you do the math, that’s a total of twelve years of social neglect and abuse that that child will have to endure.
The human being is a complex organism. It is composed of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects. For the sake of one’s overall health and wellbeing, all of these aspects must be well adjusted. Our physiological self has to have air to breathe, water to drink, food to eat, and shelter to keep itself warm in order to survive. Our emotive self must have sexual intercourse, a meaningful occupation, and fulfilling social interpersonal relationships in order to ensure that we have the will to go on living. Hence, if a child is being chronically demoralized, by being deprived of meaningful social contact, it is at risk for committing suicide and/or homicide.
RUSE #8: THE STEALTH BOMBER BULLY
The Stealth Bomber’s motto is “ I hide that I am a bully coward by acting oh so proper. Until I win your confidence and then I give you a whooper”. The Stealth Bomber bully uses a “hit and run” style of bullying. Rather than be the knight in shinning armor with lance in hand astride a battle worn horse storming the castle’s moat yelling his war cry; the Stealth Bomber bully approaches the victim’s castle as the plumber in a paddy wagon come to fix the broken pipes in the kitchen.
The Stealth Bomber’s Modus Operandi – mode of operation – is a covert versus an overt one. Without warning he will strike his bully target and then suddenly retreat into the oblivion. For example, he will physically harm his victim by throwing a SUCKER PUNCH or emotionally hurt his victim by verbalizing an AMBIGUOUS remark. Immediately after that, the Stealth Bomber bully will run away so that the victim cannot strike back - by not being available by refusing to answer his door, by screening all of his calls, by hanging up the phone, by not attending an interview, by returning to sender his mail. Or, he will hide behind his minions so that the victim cannot strike back.
The following is a real life scenario illustrating how the Stealth Bomber bully operates:
I called the medical center next to Long Beach Memorial Hospital in Long Beach, California, to cancel an appointment I had made with a doctor. The doctor’s receptionist answered the phone in a friendly and polite manner. I asked her, “Whom am I speaking to?” She replied, “My name is Edna.” I told her, “I have to reschedule my appointment.” Edna asked me, “What is your date of birth?” I need it to look up the scheduled appointment so that I can cancel it.” I told her my DATE of birth. Then, Edna asked me “What DAY is your birthday?” My birthday was six month away so I shrugged my shoulders and answered, “I don’t know.” Suddenly Edna let out a sarcastic laugh and said mockingly, “You don’t even know what day your birthday is?” Immediately after that I heard the sound of a click. Edna had hung up the phone on me.
Furious at her unbelievable rudeness, I called back and requested to speak to Edna. But the medical center’s co-workers lied to me that the receptionist was not there that day or pretended to be the receptionist, or put me on hold...indefinitely. Infuriated I filed a grievance with the hospital about the unbelievably rude-treatment I was given by Edna, their receptionist. Edna’s supervisor sent me a bed bug letter that did nothing but defend Edna. As far as the receptionist was concerned she had gotten away with bullying me. But I refused to give up.
One day when I called and asked for Edna, the telephone operator answered the phone and told me that Edna no longer worked there. I asked the operator if she knew where Edna now worked. The telephone operator divulged the coordinates to the private doctor’s office that Edna was now working for. The following day the Stealth Bomber bully receptionist Edna received an incoming call asking for her by her name. Edna got on the phone. After I had the receptionist verify that she was Edna, I said, “On any day of any year can fall a birthday, you idiot!” Immediately after that, Edna heard the sound of a click. I had hung up the phone on her. And that was the end of that.
RUSE #9: THE EXCUSE MAKER BULLY
As an educator, I have had to deal with the child in my classroom who tries to get away with not doing his homework by telling his teacher that – the dog ate it, it got laundered in his pant’s pocket, his pencil broke, his eraser got lost, the alien who landed his UFO on the roof abducted it, etc, etc, etc. The Excuse Maker bully is notorious for not taking responsibility for his own actions. And that is because the Bully Culture starting with his own parents, do not make him accountable for his own behaviors. The Bully Culture’s attitude towards bullying is, “That’s just the way that it is”.
The Excuse Maker bully uses his fertile imagination to invent lame excuses as to why it is okay to be a bully. The Excuse Maker bully will say such things like, “The victim made me do it” “The victim asked for it”. “The victim’s face was in the way of my fist”. “I didn’t mean it”, I can’t help it”, “It was a misunderstanding”, “It just happened”, “I am stressed out”, “I am not perfect I am only human”...are you getting BORED yet?
The Excuse Maker bully is so proficient at making up lame excuses for being a bully that he has managed to get away with taking any and every virtue that a victim has and turning it into a flaw. For example, “The victim is not smart he is nerdy” and “The victim is not lovable he is needy” and “The victim is not loyal he is clingy”. The Excuse Maker bully is so efficient at making up lame excuses for being a bully that he has managed to get away with taking any and every flaw that a bully has and turning it into a virtue. For instance: “The bully is not arrogant he is confident” and “The bully is not corrupt he is street smart” and “The bully is not cruel he is cool”. Isn’t that nice!
The Excuse Maker bully is also so adept at making up lame excuses for being a bully that he has managed to get away with not having to be sorry for victimizing the victim.
The following are some of the insincere apologies that the Excuse Maker bully makes in order to get away with being a bully:
Instead of apologizing the Excuse Maker bully will say, “It was an accident”. Whether or not the Excuse Maker bully meant to harm or hurt the victim he has done so. Thus, the Excuse Maker bully is obligated to make the victim whole again by repairing or restoring what he took away from the victim.
Another insincere apology the Excuse Maker bully will offer is, “I’m sorry if I offended you.” The word “IF” means that, the Excuse Maker bully is in denial that he has done anything wrong. One cannot regret what one has not done. So the Excuse Maker bully is really not sorry at all!
Yet another insincere apology the Excuse Maker bully will make is, “I’m sorry that you feel that way.” The Excuse Maker bully is criticizing the victim for feeling upset about being bullied instead of apologizing for hurting the victim’s feelings.
Still another insincere apology the Excuse Maker bully will say is, “I am sorry” spoken in a hostile or sarcastic tone of voice. The only thing the Excuse Maker bully regrets is that he got caught bullying the victim. Or, “I am sorry” said in a monotone voice. The Excuse Maker bully is not sorry. The Excuse Maker bully is just saying that he is so that the victim will go away.
The Excuse Maker bully might apologize in an overly nice, excessively friendly way. But later, he becomes calculatingly mean and distantly cold towards the victim. The excuse bully is not sorry. To the contrary! The Excuse Maker bully is holding a grudge against the victim for having the audacity to not let him get away with being a bully.
The Excuse Maker bully might apologize to the victim in a sincere sounding way but he continues to bully the victim. As the old adage says, “Actions speak louder than words”.
Attention victim! The following are the three parts to a GENUINE apology:
A) The offender is regretful for his misdeed.
B) The offender makes amends.
C) The offender does not repeat the offensive behavior.
A real apology will sound like this A) “Please forgive me for saying/doing _____ to you” and B) “I will make it up to you” and C) “It will not happen again.” This is followed by, the one who gave the apology keeping his promise.
RUSE #10: THE RESCUER BULLY
Don’t confuse the Rescuer bully with the hero or the heroine. The Rescuer bully is an OPPORTUNIST. Thanks to the Bully Culture’s myth that, “The victim is to blame for being a victim of bullying", society leaves the victim all alone to suffer in silence without any FRIENDS because the populace has been brainwashed to either not pay attention to, not take seriously, or make fun of the victim’s undeserved PAIN. Bystanders ridicule the victim’s pain by telling the victim, “Let it go already”. Meanwhile the bystanders complain to people who care about them and so validate their pain. Victims ridicule the victim’s pain by telling the victim, “Stop feeling sorry for your self”. Meanwhile the victims make a federal case out of their own pain to the victim. The bullies will ridicule the victim’s pain by insisting that the victim is, “Super sensitive”. Meanwhile, the bullies are “Hyper-Diaper” – Mega sensitive – about their own pain.
Once in a while, the victim will be MISUNDERSTOOD by a well meaning, Good Samaritan. However, being that the Good Samaritan does not know what it is like to be a victim, he gives the victim unsolicited advice that is at best useless and at worst hurtful or harmful.
But more often then not, the victim will be EXPLOITED by the ill intentions of the Rescuer bully. The Rescuer bully knows just what to say, and just what to do, to PRETEND to help the victim. However, his real motive is to aggrandize his own wallet or gratify his own ego by for example, exposing the victim’s suffrage to the public for shock value in order to increase the ratings of his celebrity talk show, talent show, and/or reality show.
RUSE #11: THE PRETENTIOUS BULLY
The Pretentious bully goes by the motto of, “I have no worries”, which he clobbers the victim over the head with who can’t or won’t fit into the Bully Culture. Meanwhile, the Pretentious bully invests all of his time and all of his energy into making it seem that he is a well adjusted individual who appears to have the normal life – a meaningful job, a beautiful house, a devoted spouse, sweet children, a loving family, and a safe and happy community – so that we will ALL worship him by saying, “These are the together people that we ought to strive to be more like!”
The Pretentious bully declares to the victim, “I never let the bully, bully me!” Meanwhile, the Pretentious bully is such a world class mega wimp, that he won’t stand up for any ONE, not even HIM SELF. This is why we are all being overcome by a worldwide bully epidemic.
Rather than offering his one-of-a-kind contribution to making the world a better place, the Pretentious bully will trade in his own God given unique identity – SOUL and Divine Purpose – SPIRIT – in order to cash in on the worthless trinkets of the Bully Culture’s JUNK CULTURE. The Pretentious bully goes along with the unending degenerating status quo of the Bully Culture establishment by willingly and wantonly committing amoral and unethical deeds of corruption so that he can pursue his dream of crappiness – MISERLY avarice. He has chosen to be a conformed ass – conformist – of the Bully Culture regime for he believes that by doing so he will escape from being a casualty of the bully(s) war upon the victim nation. Meanwhile, the moment the pretentious bully gains a measure of social influence and economic affluence, the Bully Culture tears him away from his socioeconomic immunity by plunging the country of his origin along with him into socioeconomic collapse. For the elite bully’s motto is, “It is not enough that I succeed, you must fail.”
RUSE #12: THE SCREAMING BULLY
This type of bully uses aggression in the form of communication in a two-fold manner: (1) to take out his misplaced hostility on an innocent individual, and (2) to boss around his victim in order to make it appear that he is a superior human being while making it seem that the victim is an inferior subhuman thing. His attitude is that whatever he has to say is important. Whatever you have to say is insignificant. The screaming bully has no interest whatsoever in resolving anything. So don’t for one second try get your needs and/or wants met through him. Otherwise you will hand over your dignity to him on a megaphone platter. And don’t get into a yelling match with this bully either. At best it is pointless as no one is hearing let alone listening to the other. At worst you will be hauled away by the police for breaking the peace while he stands there with a big smug smirk on his face. Instead, put him in his place by saying, “I did not hear you! Can you speak louder?” If he continues to yell at you, but most likely he won’t, plug your ears to prevent hearing more verbal abuse, and quickly walk away. By doing this you let him know that you do NOT accept the screaming bully's nonsense.
The following is a real life scenario illustrating how the Screaming Bully operates:
I had some business to attend to in a shopping mall I had not been to before. I was able to enter it no problem. But when I tried to exit it I got lost. Confused looking for the stairs that led to my freedom I found myself by the women’s bathroom instead. Do not ask me how I got there, but the answer to my prayer to guide me to my destination was an old man. But his solution was to yell at me as if I was some sort of criminal lurking about. Less than a foot in front of me he shouted in Hebrew, “What are you looking for?!” So I said in a regular voice back to him in Hebrew, “I did not hear you! Can you speak louder?” For a moment he just stared at me as if I had splashed cold water all over his face. Then, he spoke to me in a much lower voice – within the human speech auditory range. After that, politely and in English, too, he directed me to the way out of the building.
RUSE #13: THE INTERRUPTING BULLY
This kind of bully uses diversion as a means by which to dominate the conversation so he does not have to listen to what you have to say because he knows you are right since he is wrong. Basically he is telling you to, “shut up!” His attitude is that if he can keep you quiet then he
wins and you lose. After all you did not say something! The interrupter bully has no interest whatsoever in resolving anything. So don’t for one second try get your needs and/or wants met through him. Otherwise you will hand over your dignity to him on a silence is golden platter. And don’t try to talk over this bully either. For even if you do he still gets what he is after...not hearing you...so he does not have to right his wrongs.
Instead, put him in his place by telling him, “You have no intelligence because you do not listen so you do not know anything.” If he continues to interrupt you, but most likely he won’t, keep repeating yourself, plug your ears to prevent hearing more verbal abuse, and quickly walk away. By doing this you let him know that you do NOT accept the interrupting bully's nonsense.
The following is a real life scenario illustrating how the interrupting bully operates:
On 1/11/18, I went to the Misrod Reshui (Department of Licensing) in the city of Haifa to see if they will help me convert my American Driver’s License to an Israeli one in spite of the fact that the eye doctors of Clalit (Kipat Holim) the Israeli Health Clinic I belonged (past tense) to, refused to give me an eye exam, which is one of the Israeli Drivers Licensing Office’s requirements to obtain an Israeli Driver’s License [See the web page entitled, “Updates 10/14/17” of the BullCrap Busters website for details].
I saw a clerk named Rami who was working there. I asked him if he spoke English. He told me he did. I told him I had to speak to the manager because I have a unique circumstance. He insisted I talk to him instead. But when I began to explain it to him he flatly interrupted me first by criticizing me, second by insulting me. He barked at me, “You had three years to get an Israeli Driver’s license! Why have you come so late?” Followed by, ““You have come too early. Come back on 1/13/18”. (1/13/18 is the three-year deadline for me to get an Israeli Driver’s license). In addition, instead of addressing me by name, he called me an “Oleh Hadasha”, which means “New Immigrant”. Translation: he meant “Stupid American”. I told him, “I am going to see the manager” and I left.
I asked the manager if she spoke English. She told me she did. I told the manager my unusual situation. She asked me, “Why didn’t you tell the clerk?” I answered her, “I tried to but he will not listen to what I have to say!” The manager motioned me to come with her. She told Rami off for not doing his job, which was to find out what my out of the ordinary condition was that was preventing me from undergoing the process of allowing me to drive a motor vehicle in the country of Israel. She told him in Hebrew that I have myopic (one eyed) vision. An eye doctor is supposed to give me an eye exam for the Misrod Reshui. But the ophthalmologists at Clalit refused to. Without the eye exam I cannot get an Israeli license. He stared at her in silence poker faced.
I suppose I woulda, shoulda, coulda left it as such. The manager kicked his bully coward butt in for me…until the following day when an idea occurred to me. So out onto the field of trial and error real life experience also known as ‘The School of Hard Knocks” I went with the idea on how to stop the interrupting bully from bullying me as well as others.
On 1/14/18, I returned to the Misrod Reshui in Haifa to try out my new salvo on Rami, but he was not there. I inquired as to his whereabouts. In English a clerk told me that Rami only worked at the Misrod Reshui in Haifa that one-day to fill in for some one else and that Rami worked at the Misrod Reshui in Netanya on a regular basis.
On 1/16/18, I traveled on three trains to reach the Misrod Reshui in the town of Netanya. I left at 5:30 a.m. in order arrive there at 8:00 a.m., to tell off the very rude for nothing jerk, I mean clerk, Rami, myself.
When I finally was able to enter Rami’s office, In English asked, “Are you Rami?” He answered in English, “Yes.” And he volunteered, “I remember you!” Translation: He recalled how the manager of the Misrod Reshui in Haifa told him off on my behalf for not doing his job. I launched my trial and error salvo at him. In Hebrew to make sure that he understood me I said matter-of-factly, “You have no intelligence because you do not listen so you do not know anything. Israeli.” I also said, “You speak nonsense.” This salvo worked! He stared at me in silence poker faced. And I am no one’s manager.
I left, but only to return twenty minutes later to the Misrod Reshui in Netanya. For I believed I left something in Rami’s office. While waiting for my turn to go in, Beni, the Misrod Reshui Guard, let every one else but me take a turn. A couple of Israelis asked him in Hebrew why he did not permit me to have a turn. Beni told them in Hebrew, “Rami will not receive her.” But when I ask Beni in Hebrew, “Lamah (Why)?” Beni answered, “Cacha (Because)!” Translation: Rami was so upset by the salvo I had launched at him that, not only had Rami instructed the guard, Beni, to forbid me from seeing him anymore, but Rami also had instructed the guard, Beni, not to disclose the reason why. In addition, Beni, the guard was hovering over me to make sure I did not enter Rami’s office. I tapped my foot on the floor and waited. “Wait long. But move fast!” “Persistence” is a BullCrap Busters best friend. And I got lucky! After a short while, Beni, the guard left the area to tend to some other people. So, “The coast was clear!”
I quickly went into Rami’s office. “I believe I left something here”, In English I told Rami matter-of-factly. I glanced under the one and only chair in his office for visitors I was sitting at it when I told Rami off before. There was no “lost and found” there. Then, I said in English to Rami, “You heard what I said to you, yes?” He answered with a non-verbal groan. After that, in Hebrew I repeated my entire script to him just to be sure. “You have no intelligence because you do not listen so you do not know anything. Israeli.” I continued. “Also, you speak nonsense.” “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” he moaned, and he excitedly rose from his chair and in Hebrew cried, “Leave!” In English I said calmly, “So you heard me. Good!” In Hebrew he cried, “Guard! Guard!” I repeated myself calmly in Hebrew to make sure that he understood me, “You heard me. Good!”
I may as well have been a Samurai Warrior with a long and short sword slung on his hip and a long-short pole strapped on his back preparing to slay Rami for all of the unnecessary panic Rami was making. I blinked my eyes several times at Rami – the big male bully coward who was afraid of me – the little old lady from Pasadena. Go granny! Go granny! Go granny! Go! And Beni the guard did not come. Apparently, he was still pre-occupied tending to those other people. I waved my right hand in a “Bye” gesture to Rami and in Hebrew I said matter-of-factly, “Bye” to Rami and I left Rami’s office. Then, I approached Beni, the guard, and told him in Hebrew that I went back into Rami’s office because I believed I left something of mine in there. Beni, the guard, nodded nonchalantly. After that, I left the Misrod Reshui.
RUSE #14: THE NOSEY BULLY
On the one hand the nosey bully will declare that he is interested in your business because he is just curious. When ipso facto he is bothering you since he has no life of his own. On the other hand, like all other bully(s), he is looking for a plausible excuse to bully others. So the nosey bully will yelp, “I was only trying to help!” if challenged. When ipso facto his objective is to target you for bullying. Let the nosey bully know you are wise to his foolishness by telling him, “Thank you for minding my business because you have no business of your own worth minding.” And if doable by letting the nosey bully know that by interjecting himself into your existence he is displaying how stupid versus smart he is.
The following is a real life scenario illustrating how the nosey bully operates:
My spouse and I were waiting in line at the post office. We had to take a number in order to get a turn. I desired to get a different post office box. Mine was low. I wish to get one high. So we had to see the manager because we were renewing our post office box and since he was the only one who had the authority to issue me another one. There were three windows. One was the manager’s and the other two were female postal clerks. However, when our number was called it went to one of the two postal clerks. So we took another number…and another number…and another number. I am glad I am not a gambler. Three times we did not get the 33% chance of hitting the jackpot – the manager’s booth.
Meanwhile, after our second attempt, a female postal patron noticed what we were doing and staring haughtily all annoyed at us in Hebrew said to me, “Miss!” Never mind that my husband was getting the numbers, not I. We were not harming any thing or hurting any one. Regardless, another female postal patron in Hebrew chimed in arrogantly staring at us demanding to know why we had the audacity to recycle our numbers. To let them know how stupid versus smart they were for minding our business, I told them in Hebrew in an emphatic voice, “We have to talk to the manager. He is in window three.” Suddenly, a good “slam-error-a-ton” (Samaritan) said…to me! “Shhh.” So, in Hebrew I said to all of them in my emphatic voice, “You do not have a life so you bother us!” None of them said another word to us after that. After their turns, when the two nosey bully(s) and the one so-called Good Samaritan passed by us to leave the building they were silent and did not even look at us. On the fourth try we got the manager and conducted our business.
RUSE 15: THE BAITING BULLY
There is a sort of bully who will trap you into being a victim of bullying. He will make what appears to be a seemingly safe inquiry. But no matter how you reply to it the baiting bully will brow beat you over the head with your innocent answer to his so-called innocent question.
It was a Friday morning. I was sitting down in a chair waiting for my spouse who was in line at the bank to make a monetary transaction. Sitting in a chair next to mine was a very kind looking man. He gave me a friendly looking smile. Next thing I knew he started speaking to me. First, he started conversing with me about the weather. Second, he was talking to me about where he was from. Third, he introduced him self by name, and asked me what my name was. So I told him, “My name is Elana”. I may as well have bitten my tongue off. Of course how was I to know? I have had countless of breaking-the-ice-with-strangers dialogue like this before. And nothing ever went amiss. But instead of just saying, “Nice to meet you”, this gent went on a tirade like a five year old about how the name Hanna was a better name than my name because it meant “grace of God”. And he had white hair showing how elderly he was. It reminded me of a commercial I saw on television some thirty odd years ago. It went like this, “My dog is better than your dog since he eats Kennel ration”. His objective was to make me think badly about my own name. But I diffused his ill intent by telling him, “My name means tree. It is the most important name in the Torah (Jewish Bible) since it originates from the Tree of Life in the Garden of Eden from which all of Creation originated. I love trees. So I chose my name for myself”. So much for making me feel upset. Instead he got so upset he suddenly stood up, and without so much as a “good bye” or “nice talking to you” like regular people do at the end of a conversation, he exited the bank.
The baiting bully is usually a stranger. The safest thing to do if you are suspicious you are encountering a baiting bully is to answer his question by simply saying, “Why?...Because!"
RUSE #16: THE FALSE OPPOSITION BULLY
The False Opposition bully makes people believe that they live in a society that honors their human rights so that those individuals who protest against the Bully Culture regime can be identified and neutralized. One type of false opposition bully manifests itself as government agencies that are funded by your hard-earned tax dollars to oversee political organizations to ensure that they engages in humane moral and business ethical codes of conduct when ipso facto it does not. Instead of shutting down corrupt political institutions these governing agencies endeavor to either ignore or punish those who voice legitimate grievances against the Bully Culture establishment.
The following is a real life scenario illustrating how the False Opposition bully operates:
On 6/27/12, we went to the Washington State Convention Center in the City of Seattle in Washington State to meet for the very first time the OCCUPY SEATTLE GROUP. The Occupy Seattle Group is an offshoot of the Occupy Wall Street Group in New York City, New York State, which came into being as a result of Socialist Activist Groups in various countries protesting the GREED of the Corporate Elite Bully. We attended its “General Assembly” Meeting. During the meeting we shared a little bit about our own personal life experience with police violence. To our chagrin no one made any comment one-way or the other. HOW WEIRD!
Their silent feedback to us was as apathetic and indifferent to our plight as a flat liner with the exception of one male, who looked like a bum. He briefly shared a few instances of mild injustices that had happened to other people with us. However, nothing of what he said had anything to do with police misconduct or police brutality. After the meeting we approached him and introduced ourselves. He told us that his name was MARK TAYLOR CANFIELD. He told us that he was a photographer for the Occupy Seattle Social Activist Movement as well as a writer and a musician, and that he had media connections. I asked Mark if he had any media connections that might be interested in our stories about police violence. Mark only offered one media source and that was Cop Watch. We had already contacted Cop Watch who according to our observation was a flop watch. Cop Watch did nothing to help us. All Cop Watch did was take our story about police violence and file it away into some remote Internet archive that no one knew how to access. When we asked Mark for his telephone number, in the event that we might wish to contact him for other media connections, he refused to give it to us. Mark was only willing to give us his e-mail address. Out of morbid curiosity we tried Mark’s e-mail address. It offered us no way to contact Mark. HOW WEIRD!
Mark was also unbelievably rude to me for nothing. I started to ask him a question when another guy showed up and they greeted each other. After a short while, Mark turned back to me and said, “I forgot what you were saying”. I said, “I forgot also”. When I asked Mark another question, he was just as unbelievably rude to me for nothing again. I asked him, “Are you the leader of the Occupy Seattle Group?” His reply was “No there is no leader”. After that Mark laugh at me while he motioned with his head to another member, whose name was CAROL, to join in the laughter of making fun of me for asking such a supposedly stupid question. Carol happily obliged. We were brand new to the group so how were we supposed to know that the group had no leader. If Mark Taylor Canfield was really a social activist reporter, he woulda, shoulda, coulda interviewed us, himself. We never ever saw Mark again after our initial meeting of him. He did not come to anymore of the events that we went to at Occupy Seattle. Neither did Mark show up for the July, Friday the 13th March against Police Violence that all of the groups of Occupy Seattle came out to participate in. If Mark was really a reporter and especially for Occupy Seattle events, he woulda, shoulda, coulda come to get photos and stories. HOW WEIRD!
On 7/2/12, we went to the Washington State Convention Center in the City of Seattle in Washington State to meet for the second time the Occupy Seattle Group. We attended a “Get Money out of Politics” Meeting. Once again, during the meeting we shared a little bit about our own personal life experience with police violence. To our chagrin no one made any comment one-way or the other. HOW WEIRD! Their silent feedback was as apathetic and indifferent to our plight as a flat liner with the exception of one male whose name was NORMAN. After the meeting was over and the group had dispersed, Norman engaged in a conversation with us. But instead of relating to us by sharing some of his own personal life experiences about police violence, he had the agenda of attempting to make him self in the right by trying to make us in the wrong about what had happened to us. HOW WEIRD!
We all got into an argument about a lawsuit we had filed against the KIA of Puyallup car dealership. Ironically, although his own group “Get Money out of Politics” talked about how politics was a bribe job, Norman was unwilling to believe that Judge Pat O’Malley, who had presided over our open and shut legal case, took a bribe from KIA and thereby rendered the verdict in KIA’s favor. Instead he gave us his unsolicited asinine advice that, since KIA had admitted that the brand new car that we bought from KIA was not for sale at ANY price, it was FREE. So we woulda, shoulda, coulda brought our brand new car back to KIA and demanded that KIA give us a refund of the money that we purchased it with instead of going to court to battle over the $2,000 that KIA had illegally overcharged us. Incensed, I told him, “That was excellent advice you gave us. If we had followed it not only would we be without the $2,000 that KIA had stolen from us, but we would no longer have any brand new car, since KIA would bribe the justice system to keep that also”. After I said that, Norman got storming and started flapping his jaws with nonsensical rhetoric. Incensed, I told him, “Do you not share your own personal life experience with others since you are afraid that someone like you will come along and invalidate them?” To that, Norman fell speechless. “Knowledge by itself means nothing.” I said. Then, I continued, “Life experience is the best teacher”. After that I said, “What have you sacrificed? We lost two homes in order to do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. We are right and you are wrong.” After that, we got up and left.
On 7/9/12, we went to the Washington State Convention Center in the City of Seattle in Washington State to meet for the third time the Occupy Seattle Group. We attended a “Get Money out of Politics” Meeting. While the meeting was in session we shared with the group why we had come to it. I told them that because of our own personal life experiences involving various injustices that had befallen us we realize that politics is very important to get involved with since it determines what our day-to-day lives are going to be like. When I was finished speaking my sharing was rewarded with a condescending remark from a man named PAUL. Paul said, “You are catching up to the rest of us”. After the meeting was over and the group dispersed, I told Paul, “We are not catching up to you. We have already surpassed you”. After that as we started to leave Paul threw a sucker punch remark at me by saying, “God bless you”, which in sarcastic language means, “Go to hell.” So I said, “God bless you”, right back at him. And that was that. Neither “Storming” Norman nor “Sucker Punch” Paul came to the June Friday the 13th, March against Police Violence that all of the groups of Occupy Seattle came out to participate in. Apparently, Norman and Paul “talk the talk but don’t walk the walk“. HOW WEIRD!
On 7/13/12, we met for the fourth time the Occupy Seattle Group. We attended its July Friday the 13th March against Police Violence that gathered at Westlake Park. All of the groups of Occupy Seattle showed up to participate in it. There were other social activist groups that also showed up to be a part of the Friday the 13th March against Police Violence. One was an Anarchy Movement and another was a Feminist Movement. They both gave us fliers to join them. During the middle of the March, while I was chanting my head off the word, “FREEDOM”, a peculiar thing happened to me. A thin man about five feet ten inches tall dressed in all black clothing with an all black backpack slung on his back, who was wearing a black scarf with a “V” for Vendetta mask over his face, walked up to me. He stared at my face for a few long moments. Then, he handed me a large, gold, and white colored Viking hat and said in a rather bossy tone of voice “Here, wear this.” I initially thought that he wanted to give me this hat as a souvenir to welcome me as the new comer to the Occupy Seattle Group. So I asked him, “What is your name?” “You don’t need to know that” he said. HOW WEIRD!
Still believing that he was just showing his appreciation that we had joined the cause I said, “It is nice to meet you”. He said nothing back. After a little while my husband asked him “What is the hat was for?” His reply was, “It’s just a cool hat.” After that, he had nothing more to do with us. Throughout most of the march I just held onto the hat for it was too big for my head. But several times I did wear it briefly while noticing uncomfortably that I was the only one wearing an unusual hat. During one point of the march, MR. VENDETTA decided to take a break by drinking some water. He pressed a sixteen-ounce, store bought, bottle of water to his lips. In order to do so, he had to partially remove his mask and partially remove the black scarf from his mouth as well. It was then, that I was able to see a generous amount of his facial features. They were young. He looked to be in his late twenties/early thirties. He was Caucasian, white complexioned. He had long medium brown straight hair that fell just passed his nape. He had thick, smooth, arched dark brown eyebrows. He had thin lips. The only part of his face I was not able to see was his nose and eyes. After the march was over, I had an after thought about the way in which this man had behaved towards me. I did not like that he demanded I respect his anonymity while he disrespected my anonymity by giving me a hat to wear, without even asking my permission to give it to me, that made me stick out of the group like a sore thumb. HOW WEIRD!
So, after the Friday the 13th July March against Police Violence was over I threw the Viking Hat away into a non-designated city trash receptacle.
On 7/15/12, we met for the fifth time the Occupy Seattle Group. We attended the Food for Everyone Event at the Horace Mann School. During the Barbecue we shared a little bit about our own personal life experiences with police violence. To our chagrin no one made any comment one-way or the other. Their silent feedback was as apathetic and indifferent to our plight as a flat liner. So I tried to strike up conversations with individual people who attended the Barbecue about social activism subject matter. We must have talked to over thirty people that day. To no avail! None of them were interested in participating in a discussion about social issues and some of them told us that they were social workers. HOW WEIRD!
When we asked them the next obvious question, “What brought you to the Occupy Movement?” the answer that was always given was, “I am interested in socializing.” One of the members named Rodney told us, "My church told me to come to Occupy to make friends". We never heard any of them say for instance, “I am outraged about how the police mistreat me just because I exercise my consumer rights against corrupt business entities.” HOW WEIRD!
We stayed the whole time at the Barbecue. Neither Mark Taylor Canfield nor the man wearing the “V” for Vendetta Mask showed up. Carol was there though. I went over to her and said sarcastically, “You laughed at me for not knowing that there is no leader for the Occupy Seattle Group. I am new to the group. You laugh for nonsensical reasons. You are funny”. She said, “I laugh at everything even funerals”. I said, “Wow! Really? How weird!"
Carol was at the June Friday the 13th March against Police Violence. Carol said to me, “I saw a photo of you two holding hands like lovers during the March protesting Police Violence. It was on the Internet”. I asked Carol, “What angle was the photo taken at?” She told me, “The back of both of you”. I asked her, “Was I wearing the Viking Hat in the photo?” She said, “Yes”. The entire time that we were in the Friday the 13th July march we were the stragglers of the group. The Seattle Police were behind us riding on bicycles the whole time. I was surprised and nervous that a photo was taken of us just for peacefully marching in a social activist group. HOW WEIRD!
I wondered, “Were we the only ones at the march against Police Violence who were photographed?”
While at the Barbecue my husband asked a female, black, woman named Maria, “Why do some of the Occupy Seattle protestors wear masks?” Maria snapped in a hostile tone of voice, “I don’t know!” Then, I heard her mutter to herself “Oh, my God!” angrily. HOW WEIRD!
My eyebrows shot up. A few minutes later my spouse asked the same innocent newcomer question to a male who said his name was David. He was Caucasian, white complexioned, thin, about five feet ten inches tall, appeared to be in his late twenties/early thirties, and wore a shock of pink color in a Mohawk styled haircut. David said nicely, “It is because some protestors do not want the police to identify them since they have been in trouble with the police before”. David also told us that the police take pictures of every member of the Occupy Seattle Group who march. But when I asked him, “Why did a man wearing a “V” for Vendetta Mask give me a Viking Hat? Was it because I am new?” David rudely walked away from me without saying a thing. HOW WEIRD!
He engaged in a conversation with a female named Chase instead. I wondered if David perhaps had simply not heard me. So, I went over to where they both were standing and listened to them waiting for a break in their conversation so that I might be able to ask my question again. However, the moment David saw me approach them he turned his body in a forty-five degree angle away from me and showed me his backside. When I did not leave, Mr. Pinkerton, as I like to call him, walked away again, and joined a group of people who sat on the grass several yards away who were part of some sort of planning committee. HOW WEIRD!
A few minutes after David Pinkerton left me like that, Maria came over to where I was now sitting, sat down in the chair right next to me, and harassed us some more for asking our questions. HOW WEIRD!
Infuriated, I told her, “We are new. We don’t know. That is why we ask. Your hostility is turning us off”. Then, she condescendingly called me, “Hon” so I condescendingly called her “Sweetheart.” After that, I sarcastically remarked to her, “I am going to wear a mask next time I march in a protest as I am allergic to tobacco and some of the protestors smoke cigarettes”.
A while later, a male we had not yet met came over and handed us a pamphlet that explained what David had already told us, which was that some protestors wear masks to hide their identity from the police. David Pinkerton did not come over to us, himself, though. Neither David nor the stranger ever addressed my question as to why the man wearing the “V” for Vendetta Mask gave me a Viking Hat to wear during the June, Friday the 13th, march protesting Police Violence. HOW WEIRD!
A little while after that, while we were reading some Occupy Seattle literature, that was sitting on one of the tables, hoping to get answers to our questions, Maria came back and told a group of males who happened to be sitting next to me and smoking cigarettes, “She is allergic to tobacco. Don’t sit here.” They all complied with her request and got up and left. I rewarded Maria with her kindness by telling her, “That was very nice of you.” After that she said “I’m sorry that I was abrupt with you before”. So, I said, “Thank you.” It was nice of her to smooth things over, but she never explained why she had been rude to us before just because we asked her why some of the Occupy Protestors wear masks. HOW WEIRD!
The following are the WARNING SIGNS that the Occupy Movement itself is a False Opposition bully that manipulates and intimidates people to STOP taking action against Social Injustice while making it appear that it supports and pays attention to those who work at making Social change happen.
WARNING SIGN # I: The Occupy Movement is LEADERLESS. HOW WEIRD! We have never ever heard of or seen any group being leaderless in our entire half a century of existence. Without leadership a movement cannot function. Leaders are necessary to organize, mobilize, and direct the group towards the goals that the group exists for. We believe Occupy Seattle has leaders but that they are part of a false opposition.
WARNING SIGN # II: The Occupy Movement SUDDENLY came into being and SIMULTANEOUSLY became a worldwide movement. HOW WEIRD! Movements do NOT do such a thing. Movements gradually spread, and only to those localities that share the same social issues. This is a proven historical fact. One example is World War II. When the countries of the world realized that Neo Nazi Adolph Hitler was not only going to commit genocide on the Jewish People, he was going to exterminate all people who were not ethnically members of his Aryan – blue eyed, blond haired – Race, then and only then, were the countries of the globe willing to go to war against the German Nazis. Another example is the Social Activist Anti-War Movement during the 1960’s era. It only sprang up in the United States as it only concerned American citizens. The May Day button has not been pressed…yet. The SOS code has not been sent…yet. The Batman signal is not flashing…yet. When people on an individual basis reach a state of desperation in their every day lives that overrides their own fear and ignorance to remain conformists to a society that commits social atrocities against humanity, then and only then, will they grow in enough numbers as a social activist movement to overthrow the corrupt, oppressive Powers That Be.
WARNING # III: The Occupy Seattle Group is NOT PASSIONATE about its cause. HOW WEIRD! None of the members wished to talk about social activist issues. All they desired to do was socialize. All in all, most of the members of the Occupy Seattle Group that we met ignored us newcomers. The Occupy Seattle Group was “click”-ish not cohesive.
WARNING # IV: The Occupy Seattle Group acts HOSTILE towards people who asked questions about its movement. HOW WEIRD! A Social Activist Movement is supposed to welcome questions about its movement. Instead Newcomers are either rudely ignored or chastised for asking questions about Occupy. A Social Activist Movement is supposed to be friendly and welcoming towards newcomers in order to recruit more members. Instead Newcomers are expected to read literature instead of interfacing with people if they wish to know what Occupy is about.
WARNING # V: The Occupy Seattle Group has members who are EGOMANIACS. HOW WEIRD! Egomaniacs are not devoted to any cause. Egomaniacs are only committed to aggrandizing their own egos. Their only concern is to appear superior by making others look inferior by trying to be right by attempting to make others wrong by arguing about topics they know nothing about. They do not take any personal risks for the sake of the cause. They are not willing to jeopardize their own private lives or participate in public protest marches to show their solidarity. The Occupy Seattle Group has a LICK-BUTT-KICK-BUTT group dynamic MENTALITY. If it was a true OPPOSITION all of its members woulda, shoulda, coulda stop playing the victim, the bystander, and the bully roles, and start uniting as one entity to serve the betterment of humanity as a whole.
WARNING SIGN #VII: We discovered that the Occupy Seattle Group stopped having its General Assembly Meetings at the Washington State Convention Center during the summer (June) and reconvened in the fall (October). HOW WEIRD! The summertime is when college students go on break, when daylight is longer giving working people more free time, and when the weather is pleasant enough to make it more convenient for anyone and everyone to get involved in a social activist movement.
WARNING SIGN # VIII: The Occupy Seattle social activist group is a false opposition set up to identify those individuals who SINCERELY protest social injustice in order to have them arrested and charged with crimes that they did not commit in order to damage their reputations as CREDIBLE social activists so that the public will not take the social issues that they are protesting about SERIOUSLY. HOW WEIRD!
According to our observation based upon what we experienced as members of the Occupy Seattle Group and based upon what we read in the article below from the Seattle Times Newspaper, FALSE arrests and BOGUS charges are being made, and only against SERIOUS protestors who are only involved with the OCCUPY SEATTLE GROUP. As far as we know, none of the other social activist groups who attend protest marches were accused of making violent demonstrations and doing criminal activity. HOW WEIRD! Is this dragnet why we did not meet any members of the Occupy Seattle group who, like ourselves, are committed to social activism?
The following are excerpts from The Seattle Times Local Newspaper Article entitled “May Day ruckus brings federal vandalism charge” published 5/2/12 and modified 5/3/12 that illustrate this:
EXAMPLE A: PROTESTOR DITRANI
“Ditrani was stopped by police for carrying ‘a long wooden pole that had bolts screwed to the ends’ – similar to the ones used by protestors to commit assaults and smash windows at Nike Town and three banks earlier in the day, according to the probable-cause statement filed by the police.”
A probable cause statement means that a witness has reason to believe that a person committed a crime. The Seattle Police Department is accusing Ditrani of committing a crime that no one saw or heard happening just because Ditrani is CARRYING A STICK. That’s like saying that since you own a dog it was your dog that bit someone. There is NO evidence that Ditrani committed any CRIME. According to the basic tenants of COMMON LAW an individual is innocent until proven guilty, NOT guilty until proven innocent.
“Before Ditrani’s arrest, Mayor Mike McGinn...issued an emergency order that allowed police to confiscate potential weapons from protestors”.
Note that word POTENTIAL. Police officers carry guns. Does that mean that they are guilty of shooting innocent people? No it does not. Just because Ditrani is in possession of a pole does not mean that he did anything illegal with it.
“Officers took the pole from Ditrani, who...spit on one of the officers”.
Ditrani is being arrested for SPITTING!!!??? Next thing you know the police will arrest you for FARTING.
“Ditrani’s defense attorney David Hancock said, “He did hand it (the pole) over to officers when they demanded it”.
Ditrani cooperated with the police; yet they arrested him anyway.
“The judge found probable cause to hold Ditrani on investigation of third degree assault...”
What probable cause? Ditrani had a pole in his possession and that’s all! Oh My God!!! Probable cause for carrying a pole!!! And third degree assault for spitting on somebody!!!
The Seattle Times then goes on to state that the judge was concerned that this was Ditrani’s second arrest this year and that Ditrani had pleaded guilty to an earlier incident.
Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah! So what? None of this is relevant to what Ditrani is currently being charged with. It’s a way to add soap opera drama to a FALSE charge against Ditrani to make the charge appear TRUE.
EXAMPLE B: GARLAND PHOTOGRAPHER OF SOCIAL ACTIVIST EVENTS
“The judge...found probable cause that Garland,...a photographer committed an assault on an officer. Garland was part of a crowd that circled officers who had just made an arrest...(Garland) grabbed and yanked an officer’s arm, “causing physical pain,” the statement (the police officer made) says.”
According to the police officer, Garland committed assault on the police officer’s arm. The word “assault” means to DELIBERATELY and VIOLENTLY physically attack someone or something. Other than the police officer’s verbal physical pain complaint, there was no other evidence, such as bruising or bleeding or broken bones of the police officer’s arm, demonstrating any physical damage to his body part.
“His work is the powerful documenting of social activism...said Attorney Andrea Robertson, who noted Garland does not have a criminal history...He was taking pictures. His hands were on the camera”...
According to Garland’s attorney, Garland is an upstanding law-abiding citizen whose hands were on a camera since he was taking pictures.
According to our observation, based upon what we read about this article in the Seattle Times Newspaper, Garland ACCIDENTALLY bumped the police officer when Garland was doing his job as a photographer.
“Outside the courtroom, Ian Finkenbinder, an Occupy Seattle Member, who helped organize the May Day Protests, said ‘The narrative being offered by the police and the mayor’s office amounted to trumped up charges meant to intimidate those involved in the Occupy Movement’...Seattle police spokesman Sergeant Sean Whitcomb said ‘Trumped up charges? What about the smashing of windows, the hurling of paint, the setting off of incendiary (setting on fire) devices? ...These were deliberate acts, and people need to be held responsible’.”
According to our observation, based upon what we read about the above article in the Seattle Times Newspaper, the Seattle Police agency is assuming and the Seattle Mayor’s office is presuming that since there is violence going on during the Occupy Seattle protests it must be because Occupy Seattle members are doing it. However, there is no probable cause – substantial evidence – proving that such is the case. Ditrani was not caught committing any crime. Any object, a backpack, a belt, a pencil etc., can be used as a weapon. So the fact that Ditrani was carrying a stick does not mean that he is a criminal. Garland was accused of committing a crime based upon a “he said/she said” so-called victim. No other witnesses came forth to collaborate, there was no physical evidence to substantiate, and there was no proof that Garland had intentionally and physically attacked the police officer.
If the reader is interested in viewing a copy of this newspaper article then please go to hyperlink Occupy Seattle Newspaper Article at www.bullcrapbusters.com.
In order to deal with bullying we have to become acquainted with the Devil’s Empty Fist, which reveals the MASKS of intimidation and manipulation that the bully wears in order to bully others. What the masks conceal, are the many FACES of bullying that have infiltrated our society thereby erecting within it, the Bully Culture. There are six facets of bullying that exist within every sector of the Bully Culture. In order to deal with bullying we also have to become aware of what they are.
The following is a list of them:
Society’s Bully – The Jerkoholic
The Playground Bully – The Emotionally Disturbed Child
The Enforcer Bully – The Egomaniac Authority Figure
The Clergy Bully – The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
The Corporate Elite Bully – The Fraudulent Business Owner
The Elite Bully – The Corrupt Governing Entity